This is hilarious! How many of us here in the United States get calls from a "Matt" who sounds more like a "Manoj"....I got this from my friend Lotus. I couldn't stop laughing. Next time someone from my country calls you...this clip will provide you some comic relief. Instead of getting annoyed you might just smile!
Like we say, "Vee are like this onnly...absolutely and pproximately!"
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Summer Salads
This pic was taken by K.
We absolutely love seafood. Until I came to the United States, I had not had squid (calamari) and until I moved to Jersey I had not had Italian seafood salad. There is an Italian restaurant, delicatessen and market near my workplace where they sell the most delectable Italiano fare. The other plus point is the eye candy at the store. Nothing is easy on the eye than a tall, good looking Italian guy and I don't mean the New Jersey kind but the ones from the old country. If anyone is offended, I can only flex my non-existent muscles and respond like any self respecting person from Jersey would... "ehh you got a problem with that?"
Anyway I digress, so this particular place serves the most amazing soups and sea food salad. I love to eat but there are certain foods that I consider "comfort food." Most of them are Indian ones like samosa, vada pav, jalebi etc. Apart from the Indian fare, I would consider pasta fagioli soup and Italian sea food salad as my two other comfort foods. So my favorite Italian restaurant makes the most delectable seafood salad.
Contrary to what my Indian palate would dictate, I love cold soups and salads in the summer. Therefore I ignore the layer of oil and bravely order the seafood salad. Whole foods serves this salad as well but it is not as good as the one that I like. Anyway I tried to discern the flavors and came up with the following recipe, which closely mimics the one from my deli. I am pleased with the outcome and therefore will like to share it on this blog. Of course now that I have nailed the flavor, the deli hold no attraction for me except for the eye candy (just kidding!). Besides I can achieve this in a comparatively low fat fashion.
SEAFOOD SALAD
Ingredients
3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
4 cloves garlic, chopped
1 pound cleaned calamari rings and tentacles
1 pound cooked shrimp (I cooked and cleaned it at home instead of getting the frozen one to retain the flavor)
1 teaspoon salt, divided
1/4 teaspoon pepper, divided
1/4 cup chopped oregano
1 rib finely chopped celery
1/2 cup thinly sliced red bell pepper
1/2 cup thinly sliced green bell pepper
1/2 cup thinly sliced red onions
1/4 cup lemon juice
1/4 cup red wine vinegar
Method
Heat 1 1/2 tablespoons of the oil with the garlic and in a large skillet over medium heat until the garlic begins to lightly brown. Increase the heat to high and add calamari rings (you can add the tentacles but that grosses me out) to the hot skillet and cook until tender and opaque, about three (3) minutes. Set a timer to 3 minutes because anything beyond that and the calamari will turn chewy! Transfer to a bowl and season the calamari with half of the salt and pepper.
While the calamari is still warm, mix in the remaining olive oil and salt and pepper along with the cooked and cooled shrimp, celery, oregano, peppers, onions and lemon juice, red wine vinegar and olive oil. Toss together well.
Although the salad can be served immediately, I would recommend refrigerating it for at least an hour as the flavors develop as it sits. Therefore if not serving right away, cover and refrigerate until serving time.
Tip to cook shrimp
I recommend deveining the shrimp, while the shell is on. For that I made a small cut on the shell with a sharp knife and deveined it. I prefer retaining the shell along with the head, to maximize the flavor.
In large pot add water, salt to taste and juice of one lemon. Bring your water(4-6 cups of water per pound of shrimp) to a full boil. Once your water has come to a full rolling boil, add your shrimp (with the shell on) and stir to separate them. Cover with lid. The shrimp should cook in 6 to 8 minutes (for large variety). Turn off your stove burner and let sit. When cooked remove from the stove and drain in a colander, then dump your shrimp into ice water to stop the cooking. Stir the shrimp around in the ice water to make sure they all get cooled. Then remove the shells, while retaining a portion at the tail for aesthetics and flavor.
AMONG OTHER THINGS
After almost 17 years since its publication, I got a copy of Vikram Seth's "A suitable boy" and will start reading it soon. I had put a hold on it at my library. This evening I went to get it. The woman at the checkout counter reminded me of the librarian in that famous Seinfeld episode of the lost book and George getting a wedgie. Anyway she looked at the book and said, "Did you know this is a great book and a best seller?" I looked at her incredulously and replied, "Really I had no idea, I just love to read books that exceed 1,400 pages." I know...I can be quite a biyatch sometimes!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Is ethnicity an essential ingredient in successful relationships?
Yesterday I had dinner with one of my very dear friends; let’s call her “A.” A is of Indian descent but was born and raised here in the United States. Her parents moved to the United States in the 60s, so left behind an image or their idea of India. India, however, has progressed by leaps and bounds since the 1960s; therefore their idea of the subcontinent seems so obsolete today. She is very fluent in Marathi but her speech is more reflective of her parents’ generation than hers! Her parents are her connection to India and all things Indian. She speaks chaste Marathi and it is comical when she uses words that are so reflective of my parent’s generation in her very American accent!
She has an MBA in Finance from one of the top business schools in the US. She lives on the West Coast and was here for two business meetings, one in Philly and the other in NYC. In between those meetings she found time to have dinner with yours truly. There is nothing like hanging out with your girlfriends and having great conversations. She is still single, which is quite a huge deal in the Indian community. Now no matter how liberal ones parents are and no matter how independent one is, they still want their children to get married within the set parameters. Risking broad generalization I would like to add that with Indian parents it is usually a “nice Indian boy or a girl” in their twenties. This then transforms to pleas of “please get married” when the children cross into their mid thirties.
Yesterday she mentioned to me about how her parents tried to set her up with some friend’s son and she was regaling me with stories of their very disastrous first date! She was complaining about not meeting the right kind of a guy. She was on the various Indian dating websites and she was thoroughly disappointed with the kind of men she was meeting. Her biggest peeve was most of the American born Indian men that she met were so bloody confused about their identity that it annoyed her to no end. According to her they try too hard to not associate with anything related to their parents culture. Additionally, quite a few of them were looking for action while she is looking for commitment. The Indian born and raised men, especially in her field of finance, are incredibly smart but socially retarded! I couldn’t but laugh at her broad generalization and told her so.
She then told me about how her mother took her to one of the social gatherings during this business trip in the hope that she could “arrange” a match for my friend. She relayed her mother's exact words while introducing her to the group. The words reflected the so called subservience that was traditionally expected from a girl child’s parents in a patriarchal society. It took me to the time when I had just finished architecture and my mother wanted to get me married. This was the time before I met and fell in love with K. My mother had a very different tone when she would try to set me up. When I used to protest, my mother said that she has to play this game and that I will never understand. I used to always get annoyed because I felt that I was as smart and educated as the guys she was trying to set me up with. If a guy as smart as I is considered a “catch” then why am I not the same? Today I am far more independent than I was then and I still don’t understand the logic. It is inconceivable for me to be subjected to something like my friend.
My friend is a very successful professional. In fact her earnings alone must have qualified her for the special tax breaks during the Bush era. Now if she were a man, then she would be considered a “catch." Perhaps many women would have wanted to be the trophy wife! Why is that rule not applicable to successful men? She is extremely bright, very attractive and very nice person but most men get intimidated by her success.
She has dated American guys in the past but she always felt that they never quite understood the Indian culture. Therefore she wants to marry someone who is from India or whose parents are from India. She is well traveled and very cosmopolitan in her outlook that this really surprised me. What is her idea of Indian culture? I never viewed her as an Indian but as my American friend because that is who she is. Apart from the United States, she has lived in London and Zurich; therefore she has never lived in India. Her idea of India is based upon her childhood summers in the country. The last time she was in India was three years ago. What is Indian about her except her name and skin tone? In fact a few of my friends from India have American spouses and very successful relationships. Therefore I do not agree that ethnicity is a necessary ingredient to make the perfect relationship dish!
She has an MBA in Finance from one of the top business schools in the US. She lives on the West Coast and was here for two business meetings, one in Philly and the other in NYC. In between those meetings she found time to have dinner with yours truly. There is nothing like hanging out with your girlfriends and having great conversations. She is still single, which is quite a huge deal in the Indian community. Now no matter how liberal ones parents are and no matter how independent one is, they still want their children to get married within the set parameters. Risking broad generalization I would like to add that with Indian parents it is usually a “nice Indian boy or a girl” in their twenties. This then transforms to pleas of “please get married” when the children cross into their mid thirties.
Yesterday she mentioned to me about how her parents tried to set her up with some friend’s son and she was regaling me with stories of their very disastrous first date! She was complaining about not meeting the right kind of a guy. She was on the various Indian dating websites and she was thoroughly disappointed with the kind of men she was meeting. Her biggest peeve was most of the American born Indian men that she met were so bloody confused about their identity that it annoyed her to no end. According to her they try too hard to not associate with anything related to their parents culture. Additionally, quite a few of them were looking for action while she is looking for commitment. The Indian born and raised men, especially in her field of finance, are incredibly smart but socially retarded! I couldn’t but laugh at her broad generalization and told her so.
She then told me about how her mother took her to one of the social gatherings during this business trip in the hope that she could “arrange” a match for my friend. She relayed her mother's exact words while introducing her to the group. The words reflected the so called subservience that was traditionally expected from a girl child’s parents in a patriarchal society. It took me to the time when I had just finished architecture and my mother wanted to get me married. This was the time before I met and fell in love with K. My mother had a very different tone when she would try to set me up. When I used to protest, my mother said that she has to play this game and that I will never understand. I used to always get annoyed because I felt that I was as smart and educated as the guys she was trying to set me up with. If a guy as smart as I is considered a “catch” then why am I not the same? Today I am far more independent than I was then and I still don’t understand the logic. It is inconceivable for me to be subjected to something like my friend.
My friend is a very successful professional. In fact her earnings alone must have qualified her for the special tax breaks during the Bush era. Now if she were a man, then she would be considered a “catch." Perhaps many women would have wanted to be the trophy wife! Why is that rule not applicable to successful men? She is extremely bright, very attractive and very nice person but most men get intimidated by her success.
She has dated American guys in the past but she always felt that they never quite understood the Indian culture. Therefore she wants to marry someone who is from India or whose parents are from India. She is well traveled and very cosmopolitan in her outlook that this really surprised me. What is her idea of Indian culture? I never viewed her as an Indian but as my American friend because that is who she is. Apart from the United States, she has lived in London and Zurich; therefore she has never lived in India. Her idea of India is based upon her childhood summers in the country. The last time she was in India was three years ago. What is Indian about her except her name and skin tone? In fact a few of my friends from India have American spouses and very successful relationships. Therefore I do not agree that ethnicity is a necessary ingredient to make the perfect relationship dish!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Tinariwen, Assouf
One of my very dear friends introduced me to this track. The first time I heard it, it completely captivated me. I was transformed to a world far removed from my reality or what my understanding of the world is. Luckily the video has english subtitles so I could understand the lyrics. I am not sure but I am guessing that this is a Sufi song, where love could be the love of divinity. The strings are heavenly, I have downloaded this from iTunes.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Maharanis: Not a Book Review
A few weeks ago I happened to learn that Rajmata Gayatri Devi, the dowager Maharani of the erstwhile princely state of Jaipur, passed on at a ripe old age of 90. She was acclaimed for her beauty and her charity work. I, of course, came to know of her existence by serendipity. I was 12 years old then and was down with measles. I had had to miss a fortnight of school and was confined to my bed, which was quite an annoyance for my hyper energetic personality. One afternoon, my mother, handed me a copy of "A Princess Remembers," which are the memoirs of Maharani Gayatri Devi. I remember being struck by her beauty and completely enraptured by her life. Therefore in my mind, I associate the personality with the book that had fascinated the imagination of a young girl on the threshold of puberty. Years later, a month before leaving to come to the United States, I fell ill. I was married then but still wanted to convalesce at my parent's home. Therefore for three weeks I was staying with my parents. One afternoon, I stumbled across this forgotten book and picked it up to read it. As an adult I read the book and could discern that it was a sugar coated, one sided account of her life as she saw it. Clearly it wasn't a very objective account as she had tried to present the darker side in the best possible light. Of course one would attribute it to her grace and dignity rather than viewing life through rose-tinted glasses.
I have been wanting to read "Maharanis" by Lucy Moore since a very long time. Finally I got around to reading it. To me this was a third person account of their lives therefore would be objective. This book traces the life of Maharani Gayatri Devi, her mother and her two grandmothers. It is a fascinating story of four extraordinary women who lived their lives during the waning years of the British Empire and the Indian Princely States. It is a wellknown fact that Gayatri Devi's grandfather the Maharajah of Baroda was a great man who worked for betterment of his subjects and reforming his state. He was a fierce critic of the British and has always been hailed as a nationalist. He was one of the few, if not the only, ruler of a princely state to openly support the Indian National Congress. Unlike his contemporaries he was not given to leading a licentious life full of excesses. His daughter, Gayatri Devi's mother, became a widow at thirty. However, contrary to Indian societal norms, she did not resign to living an austere life of a widow but instead ruled on behalf of her minor son. She was in fact a merry widow nicknamed by her friends as Maharani of couche partout a parodized version of her title Maharani of Cooch Behar. It also speaks about her two grandmothers, Chimnabai of Baroda and Sunity Devi of Cooch Behar who are potrayed as strong women. They strived for women's education and emancipation. They were married to men different in character, the former was married to Sayaji a nationalist and faithful man (a rarity in that class), while Nripendra an overt Anglophile with a roving eye. The Baroda and Cooch Behar prince and princesses were educated abroad, the sons apparently did not possess strength of character and were given to alcoholism while the daughters were strong and wilful. Gayatri Devi became the third wife of the Maharajah of Jaipur, a handsome polo player whose first two wives were political alliances. She marries him for love and grows from a young girl in awe of her husband's larger than life personna to becoming a politican and celebrity in her own right.
It is full of anecdotes as well as historic accounts of the current events occuring simultaneously in India's struggle for freedom. It highlights the fact that how British used the princely states for their machinations to spread and continue their imperial power over the subcontinent, and completely disregarded the princely states during the process of transferring power to India.
It is an interesting account of these four extraordinary women who broke the tradition of purdah (being veiled and not seen in public) and used their position to better the lives of the less privileged. Their lives were extraordinary with immense luxury juxtaposed with harsh reality and tragedies that really made them human. They experienced extreme joy along with such tragic events. One would think that such a position of priviledge made the male members ill-equipped to deal with the sea of change that was occuring within the Indian subcontinent. Those who follow Indian history must be well aware of the horrors of Emergency and the dark period of Indira Gandhi's rule in which democratic values were held to ransom. This book reveals that aspect as experienced by Gayatri Devi who was then into active politics and in opposition to Mrs. Gandhi. These two women, born into priviledged backgrounds, two years apart and studied together in Shantiniketan, had a strong dislike for each other. However they were bound by the tragic events that occured in their lives. When Mrs. Gandhi lost her son to an airplane accident, Gayatri Devi with all her grace and dignity called her to offer her condolences, which were not accepted by Mrs. Gandhi. It speaks volumes about their individual personalities; grace of one and the petty-minded behavior of the other.
This book traverses across three centuries; the nineteenth, twentieth and the beginning of the twenty-first,and chronologically traces the lives of these four extraordinary women and their families. This book is an interesting read, however it is not a testament to feminism. These women were in privileged positions and were therefore an exception than the norm. The majority of women in the country did not afford the luxury of freedom of choice.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Random Rant
This summer I have been planning to catch up on my reading. I get a feeling that I am regressing and that my brain is atrophying because the only reading I do is related to my work. The only writing that I have done is very technical and related to my work. When I emailed from work to my spouse the other day, I began by writing "Pursuant to our conversation, attached please find....," and almost ended it with the cursory, "Your truly." This caused me to wake up from my reverie and realize that I am turning into a robot. I feel like my vocabulary is almost non-existent these days. I don't believe that I am turning into Paris Hilton by describing everything as "That's Hot." Fortunately, I have not yet started using "like" to fill in the void left by my atrophying brain and inadequate vocabulary limiting my articulation. However I feel that I should spend my evening rather constructively by reading than vegetating on the couch.
I decided to proactively address this and therefore made a trip to the library and borrowed a few books. In addition, I requested via interlibrary loaning services some non-fiction books that were on my to-read list but weren't been tackled due to procrastination. As soon as I got home with a stack of books, I started reading them. I spent a quiet evening in the park, lazing by the lake and reading for a two to three hours. Life was perfect until Monday morning two weeks ago. I have been swamped with deadlines and I am back to work related reading, which has now extended on to the weekends as well. My only wish is that soon I shall be able to deal with my overwhelming deadlines and get back to catch up on my reading. Until then my blog entries will continue to be very technical and uninspiring….that is what I am doomed for…a life of mundane existence.
I decided to proactively address this and therefore made a trip to the library and borrowed a few books. In addition, I requested via interlibrary loaning services some non-fiction books that were on my to-read list but weren't been tackled due to procrastination. As soon as I got home with a stack of books, I started reading them. I spent a quiet evening in the park, lazing by the lake and reading for a two to three hours. Life was perfect until Monday morning two weeks ago. I have been swamped with deadlines and I am back to work related reading, which has now extended on to the weekends as well. My only wish is that soon I shall be able to deal with my overwhelming deadlines and get back to catch up on my reading. Until then my blog entries will continue to be very technical and uninspiring….that is what I am doomed for…a life of mundane existence.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
I am back.....
After a few months of hiatus and completely escaping from the blogosphere...I am back. I missed coming home and writing minutiae of my mundane existence. Anyway I missed interacting with my other blogger friends and the wonderful conversations that we used to have. Of course out of all my blogger buddies two of them actually became my “friends” on facebook. So overall it has been a great experience and I want to continue that.
Friday, January 02, 2009
Happy New Year
It has been a very long time since I wrote on this space. It is getting very difficult to sit down and write. However, I don't want to bid adieu yet as I find it very difficult to let go. I have grown to love this blog and all the wonderful bloggers that I met on this platform. From my end, it has been my work and commute that is making it practically impossible to sit down and write. Therefore here is wishing you all a very happy 2009! Hopefully I shall be able to start blogging and interacting through this medium.
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Movie Jodhaa Akbar
So I finally saw Jodhaa Akbar last evening. Everyone that I have been speaking to have been raving about this movie and how it is a "must see." I am not a fan of Aishwarya Rai and really don't care much about Hrithik Roshan except for the fact that he is serious eye-candy. I had seen his debut movie "Kaho na Pyaar Hain" in India quite by chance on cable in early 2000. At that time I was living in India and had a total disdain for "masala" movies. K's parents have a couple who works for them and also lives with them. This couple had (probably still do) a tradition on Friday evenings, which was to collect their friends and watch the latest Bollywood movies on Cable in K's parent's home. K and I along with his parents would escape on Friday evenings to their weekend home by the Arabian Sea therefore the couple would have their weekend off to do whatever they pleased. One particular Friday evening, K and I stayed back in Mumbai and returned home after midnight to see the group completely hypnotized and glued to the screen. I was curious to see what they were watching with such rapt attention, to notice a very handsome guy dancing the typical Bollywood dance moves on screen. It held my attention and I asked them, "Who is he?" So I must confess that I watched "Kaho Na Pyaar Hain" mainly for the eye-candy factor that is Hrithik Roshan. Anyway that was more than eight years ago and that movie was a huge hit in India then.
So coming to 2008 and “Jodha Akbar,” K and I wanted to see the movie "Married Life." I was on the internet checking the timings for the movie in local theatres when I noticed that the multiplex on Route 1 in North Brunswick was playing "Jodha Akbar." I asked K if he wanted to see it and he replied that he didn't have the patience to suffer for three hours. I lied to him that Hindi films are always reduced to two hours to cater to the North American audience, to which he grudgingly agreed. Actually the movie is 3 hours 30 minutes long....so after two hours I saw K getting terribly bored and restless and giving me hateful looks. Despite its length, I thought it was a very entertaining movie.
I did not go to the theatre anticipating any substance and historic veracity....I went there for the entertainment value and I can say that the film guarantees that. The cinematography is excellent. The sets and costumes are opulent and the colors appeal to the senses. The music is not spectacular except for the Sufi song “Khwaja Mere Khwaja,” which is very spiritual. This particular track although with a classical base, has a very contemporary feel and beautifully captures the mood. I must say that Aishwarya was very good in this movie. Her acting was subdued and she has displayed maturity. As always she looked ethereal. The costumes and jewelry were opulent. It captures the grandeur of the Moghuls as well as the Rajputs. Hrithik looks phenomenal.
There is nothing intellectual about this movie and was definitely made for its commercial appeal yet the film has many positives. Given the communal tension in modern day Indian subcontinent and the negativity associated with the period of Moghul rule in India, this movie portrays and presents Akbar's rule in a rather positive light. It drives home the fact that it is secularism and religious pluralism that defines Indian society and is the cultural fabric defining modern day India. So those of you who can understand Hindi/Urdu and/or have interest in the Indian subcontinent, I would definitely recommend this film.
I am sharing the link of the song "Khwaja Mere Khwaja"....enjoy. I must say that A. R. Rahman has outdone himself in this score.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Kolhapur
Kolhapur is a historic city nestled in southwesterly portion of Maharashtra. It is famous for its architecture, cuisine, footwear, jewelry and also has religious significance for Hindus. It houses the Mahalakshmi temple, which translates as the temple of the "Great Goddess of Wealth." This post is not Hinduism 101 so there will be no lesson in theosophy. This post will share photographs I had taken in Kolhapur two months ago.
The Mahalaksmi temple complex belongs, architecturally, to the Chalukya empire and probably built around 700AD. The Chalukyan empire ruled the central and southern part of India. What is interesting though is that the architectural style of the temple is not Dravidian, which is so characteristic of temples in the southern part of the country.
The above structure is located in the vicinity of the temple complex. I am not certain what the building is being used as. But one does get a feeling of being in a time warp.
This is a close-up of a gate in the vicinity of the temple complex. Don't miss the modern sign next to the traditional architecture.
This is a view from the other side. There is a clock on the facade and it actually works! It was indeed a little after 3PM that afternoon.
This is one of entrances into the temple complex. There are stores here selling ritualistic stuff and offerings to the Goddess. I was highly amused to see these two women sit right at the entrance and gossip.
The guy in the foreground is selling flowers to offer to the Goddess. He had a beautiful garland of lotuses.
The complex is strewn with tiny shops like these. I particularly loved the way this vendor had displayed his wares.
The pillar in the background holds oil lamps. When lit in the evening the sight must be spectacular.
This group of pillars also hold oil lamps.
The temple building. I totally dislike how they have painted the spires called "shikhar" in Sanskrit. It takes away the natural beauty of the building and its massing.
Another view of the temple structure and its vicinity.
The Mahalaksmi temple complex belongs, architecturally, to the Chalukya empire and probably built around 700AD. The Chalukyan empire ruled the central and southern part of India. What is interesting though is that the architectural style of the temple is not Dravidian, which is so characteristic of temples in the southern part of the country.
The above structure is located in the vicinity of the temple complex. I am not certain what the building is being used as. But one does get a feeling of being in a time warp.
This is a close-up of a gate in the vicinity of the temple complex. Don't miss the modern sign next to the traditional architecture.
This is a view from the other side. There is a clock on the facade and it actually works! It was indeed a little after 3PM that afternoon.
This is one of entrances into the temple complex. There are stores here selling ritualistic stuff and offerings to the Goddess. I was highly amused to see these two women sit right at the entrance and gossip.
The guy in the foreground is selling flowers to offer to the Goddess. He had a beautiful garland of lotuses.
The complex is strewn with tiny shops like these. I particularly loved the way this vendor had displayed his wares.
The pillar in the background holds oil lamps. When lit in the evening the sight must be spectacular.
This group of pillars also hold oil lamps.
The temple building. I totally dislike how they have painted the spires called "shikhar" in Sanskrit. It takes away the natural beauty of the building and its massing.
Another view of the temple structure and its vicinity.
Saturday, January 05, 2008
JUNO
I had taken a hiatus from the blogging world. I was in India during Thanksgiving break and returned a little before Christmas. I missed writing my random nonsense hence I am back to the blogosphere. Last evening K and I went to see the movie "Juno." Here is the review from New York Times. We went to the Princeton Garden Theatre in downtown Princeton. I prefer that to the multiplexes because it takes me back to my childhood and young adulthood and reminds me of the theatres back then, which was a more family experience than these crazy multiplexes with 24 movies playing at a time!
We enjoyed the movie thoroughly especially for a humorous take on a rather grim situation, which is teenage pregnancy. Neither does it have a high handed moralistic take on this situation nor does it trivialize it. I especially loved the humorous writing and dialogues. I love sarcastic humor and people who come with sarcastic and intelligent retorts make me laugh....hence I enjoyed it for that. On a deeper note the fact that a 16-year old girl is sexually active and gets impregnated by her 16-year old boy friend is very disturbing. What was more disturbing in the beginning of the movie was that her father and step-mother were totally unaware that she was sexually active? One would think that it is a highly dysfunctional family but then they rally around her and support her makes you tear up. Initially Juno seemed like a precocious teenager who irritates you but then you end up loving the character for the maturity she displays. You watch her grow from the cocky teenager into this mature young adult and find true love with the boy friend. She puts up her baby for adoption with a yuppy couple in their thirties and you watch how the facades are dropped and their true personalities are revealed. The ending is very sweet and therefore makes the movie very enjoyable.
PS: I cried at the ending and even sobbed. I think K might have been a little embarassed when we walked out of the theater as my face was all puffy and red!
We enjoyed the movie thoroughly especially for a humorous take on a rather grim situation, which is teenage pregnancy. Neither does it have a high handed moralistic take on this situation nor does it trivialize it. I especially loved the humorous writing and dialogues. I love sarcastic humor and people who come with sarcastic and intelligent retorts make me laugh....hence I enjoyed it for that. On a deeper note the fact that a 16-year old girl is sexually active and gets impregnated by her 16-year old boy friend is very disturbing. What was more disturbing in the beginning of the movie was that her father and step-mother were totally unaware that she was sexually active? One would think that it is a highly dysfunctional family but then they rally around her and support her makes you tear up. Initially Juno seemed like a precocious teenager who irritates you but then you end up loving the character for the maturity she displays. You watch her grow from the cocky teenager into this mature young adult and find true love with the boy friend. She puts up her baby for adoption with a yuppy couple in their thirties and you watch how the facades are dropped and their true personalities are revealed. The ending is very sweet and therefore makes the movie very enjoyable.
PS: I cried at the ending and even sobbed. I think K might have been a little embarassed when we walked out of the theater as my face was all puffy and red!
Monday, October 29, 2007
Got Pulled Over!
After several years in this country, I got pulled over first time this evening. I was driving home from work. My daily commute I have to take a County Road before getting on to the Interstate. The route I take is invariably crowded but today was exceptionally busy with stop and go traffic. I take a detour to avoid the rush hour traffic but I guess a lot of people know about this route too. I was starving, tired, had worked over the weekend therefore didn't catch up on my sleep and also had not slept well last night so again....was DEAD TIRED!!!! Anyway I have to make a right from the County Road onto a local road. It takes forever to get on to that right lane. Normally I patiently wait but this evening I didn't have the patience and gingerly stepped on the shoulder to drive up to the right lane *sheepish look while typing.* The light was red and there were few cars ahead of me who definitely were not making that turn and most importantly the right lane was EMPTY and looked so inviting! Hence very carefully I stepped on to the striped shoulder and went ahead at a speed of 10-15 mph. Yeah people even if I make an illegal turn yet I am a very careful driver! I drove defensively anticipating the move of those drivers ahead of me and therefore did look into the rear view mirror. Just as I stepped on to the right lane, I checked the rear view mirror to see a cop car following me. I was talking to K on the phone and was too scared to tell him what I did. As soon as I made the right turn the cop followed me and I saw the flashing red and blue lights! I told K that I had to go as I needed to concentrate on the road.
Anyway I stopped and a tall rather handsome man walked up to my car and asked for my license and registration. I was a little nervous but keeping my composure asked him, "Is something wrong officer?" He said, "Yes M'am you were driving on the shoulder." I didn't say anything and gave him the required documents. He came up to me and said that he was not going to give me a ticket and that I should be rather careful and not repeat this. He said that he had observed me and noticed how I was gingerly treading across the shoulder. In fact he chuckled while saying this. He then told me that I looked rather tired so he assumed that I wanted to get home as soon as possible. Then he looked at my license and said, "Wow is this where you live? You do have quite a commute. Please drive safely." I smiled and thanked him but was really surprised. Then I realized that sometimes a persons appearance matters a lot. With my serious clothes and glasses I looked more like a boring librarian or a very studious person than a miscreant OR maybe it was just my lucky day. Anyway I am planning to hit the sack rather early this evening and catch up on my sleep.
MORAL OF THE STORY: No matter what do not drive on the shoulder and if you insist on doing so make sure you are wearing glasses and rather boring clothes!
Anyway I stopped and a tall rather handsome man walked up to my car and asked for my license and registration. I was a little nervous but keeping my composure asked him, "Is something wrong officer?" He said, "Yes M'am you were driving on the shoulder." I didn't say anything and gave him the required documents. He came up to me and said that he was not going to give me a ticket and that I should be rather careful and not repeat this. He said that he had observed me and noticed how I was gingerly treading across the shoulder. In fact he chuckled while saying this. He then told me that I looked rather tired so he assumed that I wanted to get home as soon as possible. Then he looked at my license and said, "Wow is this where you live? You do have quite a commute. Please drive safely." I smiled and thanked him but was really surprised. Then I realized that sometimes a persons appearance matters a lot. With my serious clothes and glasses I looked more like a boring librarian or a very studious person than a miscreant OR maybe it was just my lucky day. Anyway I am planning to hit the sack rather early this evening and catch up on my sleep.
MORAL OF THE STORY: No matter what do not drive on the shoulder and if you insist on doing so make sure you are wearing glasses and rather boring clothes!
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Almost Dying
Help!!! This blog is almost dying. It has been a month and a half since there has been any activity on this blog. It has been more than a year since I started blogging. My first anniversary came in quietly and went completely unnoticed. There were far pressing issues that took my time. I have had an extremely stressful month. It is far too personal to publicly share but everything appears to be sorted out (typing with fingers crossed) now. Also my office has moved so my commute is even longer now. This along with long hours at work and other stressful issues have totally overwhelmed me. I love blogging and love writing funny stories and love interacting with a lot of my online blogger buddies. I hope that I shall be able to resurrect this blog and stay in touch with the wonderful fellow bloggers. Meanwhile please bear with me. I shall visit all your blogs soon!
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Tryst with Destiny
Tomorrow....well it is 9:47EST so it is 7:15 AM Indian Standard Time, August 15, 2007. Sixty years ago on this date we made our tryst with destiny. I would like to quote part of the late Jawarharlal Nehru's , our first Prime Minister's address to the nation.....
Long years ago we made a tryst with destiny, and now the time comes when we shall redeem our pledge, not wholly or in full measure, but very substantially. At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, India will awake to life and freedom. A moment comes, which comes but rarely in history, when we step out from the old to the new, when an age ends, and when the soul of a nation, long suppressed, finds utterance. It is fitting that at this solemn moment we take the pledge of dedication to the service of India and her people and to the still larger cause of humanity......
It has been sixty years since India's independence from the colonial rule of the British. The Indian flag is a horizontal tricolour in equal proportion of deep saffron on the top, white in the middle and dark green at the bottom. The ratio of the width to the length of the flag is two is to three. In the centre of the white band, there is a wheel in navy blue to indicate the Dharma Chakra, the wheel of law in the Sarnath Lion Capital. This center symbol or the 'CHAKRA', is a Buddhist symbol erected around 250 BC. It's diameter approximates the width of the white band and it has 24 spokes, which intends to show that there is life in movement and death in stagnation. The saffron stands for courage, sacrifice and the spirit of renunciation; the white, for purity and truth; the green for faith and fertility. There are rules for the display of the Indian flag. Therefore when I first came to the United States, incidentally I left India on August 15th, I was really surprised to see the American flag displayed on private properties.
To all my American readers, July 4th is typically associated with fireworks, barbecue and drinking beer. August 15th, however, is a "dry day" in India. Dry day does not mean no rainfall or no water or no wetting beds but instead means that no alcohol is sold anywhere in the country as in restaurants, liquor stores etc. Of course there are certain states like Gujarat that are considered "dry" states in India, where alcohol consumption is prohibited (famous last words). India has certain days in the year that qualify as dry days, which includes certain festivals, Gandhi's birth anniversary, Independence day, Republic day etc. Of course that means no alcohol in public places....you could get sloshed at home with your friends! So the warning of dry days means....please stock your bar the previous day and get totally wasted on the "dry" day! With that to all my Indian readers...have a wonderful Independence day!...hic hic hic.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Being Left Handed
I am left handed and as you may very well know that people like me are in the minority. We are only 10 percent. It can be a handicap if you are not ambidextrous. As my mother is left-handed, she has trained me to use my right hand as well. I use my left hand to write but can operate machinery or equipment with my right hand therefore I don't face that much a handicap as other left handed people.
It has been reported that the gene most closely linked to left-handedness has been found. HURRAH!!! Now we, the minority, can peacefully continue our lives but wait a minute....the article also says the gene, called LRRTM1, is also associated with a slight increase in developing certain mental illnesses such as schizophrenia. Didn't we have enough negativity associated with being left handed to learn something additional? I do find relief in the fact that we are not living the 18th and 19th centuries where there were prejudices associated with being left handed! Can you imagine adding left handedness to the other prejudices that still exist in today's world like race, religion, and sexual orientation? Of course the research further states that there is no cause for alarm and that there are many other factors contributing to schizophrenia than being just left-handed. In addition, Australian research published last year states that left handers can think faster than right handed people. Furthermore left handers are able to multi-task, which is an ability I always thought came with being a woman than being left handed.
All my life I have had this experience where say for example I had to write an exam, I would have to request for a desk which wasn't against the wall to my left. When I started using computers in the early nineties, especially the AutoCAD program in DOS (do you remember the dark ages before Windows), it took me a while to get used to a right handed mouse. With the advent of Windows 95, there was an option available to adjust the mouse for left handed people but by that time I had already got used to the right hand one. So one adjusts to life and learns to live with their left handedness. I have lost count of the number of times when random people have mentioned to me, "Oh....you are left handed?" I have always felt like responding, thanks for noticing as I have never realized that typically others don't write with their left hand.
Yesterday I had a meeting with seven people to discuss work. Six of us were left handed. The one person who was right handed was our client and was using our professional service and diverse expertise! Funnily none of us noticed that the others were left handed till the client pointed out that he was a minority in a group of left handed people and that this assured him that he is dealing with a bunch of bright people. To this comment my only response is that appearances are deceptive and there is little utility in stereotyping because I am a complete dolt who piggy-backs on my rather intelligent counterparts!
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
First Female President
I was supposed to write this post yesterday but got home rather late last night. I am quite tired hence please forgive my typos and probably grammatical errors.
Those who are from India and those who aren't but read newspapers must be aware that yesterday, Pratibha Patil took reins as the first female President of the country. This is a landmark as next month, on August 15th, India will complete 60 years of independence. Last night Jay Leno made a crack about this by saying that India has the first female President and George W called India not to congratulate her but that he had a computer query. It is funnier when Leno says this than I recollecting and typing the punch line.
First of all the role of the President of India is largely ceremonial based on the model of the British monarchy. On the other hand the Prime Minister is elected by the electorate. Our first female Prime Minister, Indira Gandhi, was elected in 1966. She was in power from 1966 till her brutal assasination in 1984, except of course the dark era of Emergency and the subsequent change in rule. So there is no big deal that there is a woman President. Does anyone even remember who all the President's were since the first President, Rajendra Prasad and the last President A P J Abdul Kalam? So incidentally this position is largely ceremonial and if I may say so, a token post. In fact this particular nomination has been riled with controversies as well which I don't want to get into especially since I am a simpleton with no aptitude for politics.
The BBC website states that her supporters suggested Mrs Patil's election would prove to be a landmark for women in a country where millions routinely face violence, discrimination and poverty. I take an exception to this assumption that this would empower women as incidentally India is a culture which worships women. There is this concept of worshipping Lakshmi (Goddess of wealth) and that a birth of a girl child should be treated like the arrival of Lakshmi in the parent's home and the newly wed bride is called "Griha Lakshmi" as she brings wealth into the house of the in-laws. Yet in parts of the country sex selection is being practiced where female foetuses are being aborted and there are dowry deaths as well. There are laws to protect women yet they are treated as secondary citizens. Therefore as this exalted status of women is just a token and not practised therefore it is hard to believe that a token female President would change this in any way and would aid in empowering women. Most importantly the status of women did not change drastically since the election of the first female Prime Minister 41 years ago!
PS: I would also like to note that India is a paradox and it would be incorrect to paint it with broad strokes of generalization. The status of women is more a socio economic situation which is not going to change overnight! Also women in urban and upper middle class situations are most certainly not disadvantaged or face the proverbial glass ceiling. Case in point being CEOs like Anu Aga, Lalita Gupte of ICICI etc.
Those who are from India and those who aren't but read newspapers must be aware that yesterday, Pratibha Patil took reins as the first female President of the country. This is a landmark as next month, on August 15th, India will complete 60 years of independence. Last night Jay Leno made a crack about this by saying that India has the first female President and George W called India not to congratulate her but that he had a computer query. It is funnier when Leno says this than I recollecting and typing the punch line.
First of all the role of the President of India is largely ceremonial based on the model of the British monarchy. On the other hand the Prime Minister is elected by the electorate. Our first female Prime Minister, Indira Gandhi, was elected in 1966. She was in power from 1966 till her brutal assasination in 1984, except of course the dark era of Emergency and the subsequent change in rule. So there is no big deal that there is a woman President. Does anyone even remember who all the President's were since the first President, Rajendra Prasad and the last President A P J Abdul Kalam? So incidentally this position is largely ceremonial and if I may say so, a token post. In fact this particular nomination has been riled with controversies as well which I don't want to get into especially since I am a simpleton with no aptitude for politics.
The BBC website states that her supporters suggested Mrs Patil's election would prove to be a landmark for women in a country where millions routinely face violence, discrimination and poverty. I take an exception to this assumption that this would empower women as incidentally India is a culture which worships women. There is this concept of worshipping Lakshmi (Goddess of wealth) and that a birth of a girl child should be treated like the arrival of Lakshmi in the parent's home and the newly wed bride is called "Griha Lakshmi" as she brings wealth into the house of the in-laws. Yet in parts of the country sex selection is being practiced where female foetuses are being aborted and there are dowry deaths as well. There are laws to protect women yet they are treated as secondary citizens. Therefore as this exalted status of women is just a token and not practised therefore it is hard to believe that a token female President would change this in any way and would aid in empowering women. Most importantly the status of women did not change drastically since the election of the first female Prime Minister 41 years ago!
PS: I would also like to note that India is a paradox and it would be incorrect to paint it with broad strokes of generalization. The status of women is more a socio economic situation which is not going to change overnight! Also women in urban and upper middle class situations are most certainly not disadvantaged or face the proverbial glass ceiling. Case in point being CEOs like Anu Aga, Lalita Gupte of ICICI etc.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
DMV
Those of you who live in New Jersey already know this but those who don't live here might be aware that in Jersey one has to get their vehicles inspected every two years. This is required pursuant to the 1990 Clean Air Act. Jersey being such a tiny state and so densely populated, I think, this requirement is a good thing. I am however not certain how efficient measure it is. Anyway like a true Jersey resident all I can say is "You gotta do what you gotta do. There ain't nothin' that you can do about it."
According to the DMV website, this is what they do:
According to the DMV website, this is what they do:
- The inspector will determine your car's engine type and prep it for testing.
- Your brakes' suspension, steering, wheel alignment and safety features (headlights, taillights, tires, horn, windshield wipers and turn signals) will be checked.
- The inspector will perform the appropriate emissions test based on the year, make and model of the vehicle.
- The final stage of the test will assure that your gas cap is stable and limits the escape of fumes into the environment.
- Upon completion, the inspector will place a new two-year sticker in your windshield
That sounds fairly straight forward and simple, doesn't it. But no, nothing is simple or straight forward in life. If you don't know this then you are living in a vacuum and please may I join you there. So on friday evening, I take my car to the inspection facility hoping that all is well and that I will pass the test with flying colors. I have terrible test taking skills so I am always nervous. This friday however I was cheerful and life could not have been better. I pulled in the facility in Mercer County. There weren't that many cars so I was pleased as a punch. In fact they called me and few others into the reinspection line, which is a seperate one than the one for cars being inspected for the first time in two years.
I pulled in, the guy checked my registration, license and insurance policy and asked me to step out in the waiting area, which is air conditioned. The temperature was in the lower 80s but the waiting area was freezing cold. After a 15 minute wait I am informed that my car failed the test for safety reasons because apparently the rear braking was uneven. I look at my car like a parent would look at their errant kid when he/she screws up in the school exam. The inspector informed me that some minor work was required and that I had 45 days to get it done. I really didn't have the patience to wait for 45 days so instead called my mechanic right then. I had got some brake work done a month ago to the rear brakes and informed him so. Of course he didn't remember me or my name despite being from India (Gee I wonder why!) and asked me to come in first thing in the morning. So last morning, when it was nice and sunny, I took my car to his facility at around 8:00 AM. He fixed the problem within 45 minutes and assured me that I should pass the test.
Anyway I reached the Inspection facility about 9:30 AM and drove through the seperate reinspection lane. I was very confident and knew that my car will pass with flying colors. Well, it didn't and failed the inspection because the rear brake light was not working. I asked the insepctor that I had come to the same facility less than 24 hours ago and why they hadn't noticed it at all then? He told me, "My bad....they probably missed it. You know that you have 45 days to rectify this." I am seething but keeping my calm tell the guy to please check if anything else is missing because I didn't intend to make it a habit to spend all my time in this facility over and over again! The guy was embarassed and told me to run to Sears, which is located literally next door to get the bulb.
I went to the Sears Auto Center and found that there was a long line with probably just one person in attendance. All I needed was one small bulb, which I was going to replace myself. I went to the aisle and noticed a small booklet explaining what type of bulb would work depending on the make and year. I did not find anything for my car. I saw an employee walk by and requested him to guide me. He said that I should wait in line, which incidentally had six people waiting ahead of me, and someone would then tell me what bulb I would need! Of course I walked out of the store sans the bulb and decided to go Autozone, which is located a couple of miles away. I walked in the store and noticed that were a few people waiting but there were quite a few very helpful attendants as well. I was not sure which bulb would be the correct one so took whatever I thought might work to the checkout lane. The cashier very efficiently pointed out the correct one for my car. I replaced the bulb rather quickly, as thanks to K, I had a swiss army knife in my glove compartment, which incidentally has a screw driver as well. K had kept this in the glove compartment in case I ever needed it. I never required to use it until last morning so I made a mental note to thank K for his thoughtfullness.
So I returned to the facility at around 11AM and found that there was a rather long line of cars waiting for inspection. All of them were first timers! I wanted to get on to the seperate lane but found that the idiot waiting before me, was plonked right in the middle of a two-lane driveway! I was in no mood to sound the horn and ask him to move because that doesn't work with Jersey drivers. So I negotiate gingerly next to this moron, who is playing music rather loud on his system, partly into the grass and dirt hoping that my wheels don't get stuck! Luckily the other drivers are better and have parked in the their lanes, so I finally got to the reinspection lane. The inspector recognized me because as soon as I pulled in, he said "Hey I noticed that your brake lights are working just fine now so don't worry I shall replace your sticker right away. You might have to wait though because there are two cars ahead of you." I gave him the most beatific smile I could manage and thanked him. He promplty replaced the sticker and apologised for the trouble. I smiled and thanked my stars that I have to inspect my car every two years. Therefore I should be fine until July 2009 and not have to deal with the DMV, of course unless my license expires prior to that.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Summer Cocktails
I had a very long day today and right now I am unwinding with a fuzzy navel. This is such an excellent summer drink and is so refreshing. In case you don't know the ingredients or the recipe here goes:
Fuzzy Navel
3 oz. Peach Schnapps
3oz. Orange juice.
Of course this is stirred and not shaken. It is served in a highball glass with lot of ice. Speaking of cocktails let me share two other favorite summer cocktails.
Blue Lagoon
2 shots Vodka
2 shots Blue Curacao and
Top this with Lemonade. Garnish with lemons. This is also served in a highball glass
Peach Martini
2 oz. Vodka or Gin or White Rum
2 oz Peach Schnapps
Mix the two in a shaker with ice. Strain into a martini glass. Garnish with a thin wedge of peach. I also prefer cherry garnish as it renders a cool color to the drink.
Like they say in all alcohol commercials....please drink responsibly and do not drink and drive. Cheers!
Thursday, July 12, 2007
American Visa
My blogger buddy Lotus has reviewed a book titled "American Visa," by Juan De Recacoechea, which you can read here. It reminded me of the time I had applied for my student visa to come to the U.S. for my graduate school. I had to go to the Consulate in my city. At that time it was really chaotic as one had to go there at an unearthly hour and wait in a long line. Then they would let a few people go into the building where one had to go through the arduous security screening, much worse than airports, to finally get into the room where they conducted a visa interview. The interviewers were on the other side of a window pretty much like the ticket windows you see at the subway stations in NY or the NJ Transit Ticket windows. It is high time they have vending machines for the visa applicants like they have for tickets at train stations.
I remember our driver had taken me to the Consulate at an unearthly hour. On reaching there I noticed that there was a huge crowd of people who had come from outside the City and from other parts of the country, patiently waiting in line. There were stalls outside selling water, cold beverages and even snacks! Then there were a few enterprising people who had set their tables and chairs to sell bank drafts in the event that the visa applicants had forgotten to get the requisite amount. I couldn't imagine anyone doing that but was surprised to find that quite a few people were buying the drafts from them. I think the way these visas get denied, this non-refundable fee must be providing enough revenue, not just to support the personnel and other overhead expenses but also to make a handsome profit (I don't know but I am just guessing).
So anyway I went through the painful wait along with the oppressive monsoon heat while G, our driver, was napping comfortably in the car. I must tell you at that very moment I had wished that he were applying for the visa and I was napping in the car, without any care, instead. Finally I was ushered in and went through the security check and into the room where they interviewed people. After about an hour or was it two hours.....I cannot remember....they called my token number to the window.
The guy who interviewed me had such a thick accent and might have been from the deep south. I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. He asked me a lot of questions and I kept asking him to repeat himself while struggling to hear him across the glass window. I was tired, hungry and so bored and the guy was making it worse by asking me totally ridiculous questions. Finally I told him that I didn't understand a word and that if he didn't want to grant me a visa, he shouldn't be wasting my time. He looked at me totally shocked and said that I am supposed to convince him that I can afford to go to the U.S. He told me that since I am not answering these questions properly he was forced to deny and that I should apply again. So I went back home totally confused as to what was so hard to understand from all the documents that I had given him to review. They looked pretty clear and self explanatory to me and thought that someone who interviews visa applicants for a living should have known this by now.
Anyway I went back after three days and went through the whole routine and was finally ushered in the room with the ticket windows....oops.....visa office. Since I was applying for the second time, I along with a few other people, had to wait and after about three to four hours I was called to the window. This time the woman had very clear speech and asked me where I was planning to study. I answered and she smiled, wished me luck and told me to go and pay my fees. That was it, the interview was over in less than two minutes. Now couldn't the first guy have done that instead of wasting my time and money?
I must tell you though that I entertained myself watching other visa applicants and wondering about their lives. I also noticed some of the visa guys gloat over crushing some poor blokes dreams of going to America! It has been quite a few years now but I still remember it so vividly.
I remember our driver had taken me to the Consulate at an unearthly hour. On reaching there I noticed that there was a huge crowd of people who had come from outside the City and from other parts of the country, patiently waiting in line. There were stalls outside selling water, cold beverages and even snacks! Then there were a few enterprising people who had set their tables and chairs to sell bank drafts in the event that the visa applicants had forgotten to get the requisite amount. I couldn't imagine anyone doing that but was surprised to find that quite a few people were buying the drafts from them. I think the way these visas get denied, this non-refundable fee must be providing enough revenue, not just to support the personnel and other overhead expenses but also to make a handsome profit (I don't know but I am just guessing).
So anyway I went through the painful wait along with the oppressive monsoon heat while G, our driver, was napping comfortably in the car. I must tell you at that very moment I had wished that he were applying for the visa and I was napping in the car, without any care, instead. Finally I was ushered in and went through the security check and into the room where they interviewed people. After about an hour or was it two hours.....I cannot remember....they called my token number to the window.
The guy who interviewed me had such a thick accent and might have been from the deep south. I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. He asked me a lot of questions and I kept asking him to repeat himself while struggling to hear him across the glass window. I was tired, hungry and so bored and the guy was making it worse by asking me totally ridiculous questions. Finally I told him that I didn't understand a word and that if he didn't want to grant me a visa, he shouldn't be wasting my time. He looked at me totally shocked and said that I am supposed to convince him that I can afford to go to the U.S. He told me that since I am not answering these questions properly he was forced to deny and that I should apply again. So I went back home totally confused as to what was so hard to understand from all the documents that I had given him to review. They looked pretty clear and self explanatory to me and thought that someone who interviews visa applicants for a living should have known this by now.
Anyway I went back after three days and went through the whole routine and was finally ushered in the room with the ticket windows....oops.....visa office. Since I was applying for the second time, I along with a few other people, had to wait and after about three to four hours I was called to the window. This time the woman had very clear speech and asked me where I was planning to study. I answered and she smiled, wished me luck and told me to go and pay my fees. That was it, the interview was over in less than two minutes. Now couldn't the first guy have done that instead of wasting my time and money?
I must tell you though that I entertained myself watching other visa applicants and wondering about their lives. I also noticed some of the visa guys gloat over crushing some poor blokes dreams of going to America! It has been quite a few years now but I still remember it so vividly.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Surviving in a man's world
I am in a profession which is predominantly male. Of course my previous avatar as an architect was essentially in a male-dominated profession in a country which is perceived in the West as typically patriarchal. I have never felt limited or conscious of my gender at all. Perhaps this could be due to the fact that growing up my father was such a positive influence in my life. I owe a lot of things to him and have always been a daddy’s girl. He always made me believe that I can achieve whatever I wanted and that nothing mattered as long as I was determined and worked hard.
When I started working as an architect in India, I was the only female professional in my office. There were other women there but they were support staff. After a year of working, I was given my own project to manage. Of course this came to me by default. The firm had moved to this very swanky office building that the architect was building. When the building was almost complete, his eccentric associate moved there on site with just one draftsman and two architects, which included me. The remaining staff was at the old office. One morning the architect needed someone to quickly design something for the client based on his concept sketch. I volunteered to do it and worked non-stop to complete it. I had the drawings ready by about 8:30PM in the office, two hours after the normal office hours, when the architect walked in. He was surprised to see that apart from the cleaning people, I was the only one working and that the rest of his staff had gone home. Before that the architect always thought that I was killing time working for some pocket money till my parents got me married! So when he realized that I was serious about my career, he offered me this project to manage. Before that I had worked for him for a year and he didn't even know my name!
It was a substantial sized project for me as a young architect but rather small for him because he is an eminent architect in India and his clientele included who’s who from the country. I had to deal with a lot of bias on site because they were not used to taking directions from a woman, especially someone so young. One day the client, being a very traditional Indian man, complained about the fact that my boss was sending a “mere woman” to the site. My boss was furious and gave him an earful about his gender bias and told him that I was better than the ten male architects in his office! Of course since the architect's name and projects have a lot of prestige associated with it, he pretty much dictated terms to his clients no matter who they were. Therefore this particular client had no choice but to accept me as the project architect. Later the client was proved wrong and funnily wanted me to mentor his “poor little rich girl” daughter who wasn’t motivated in life, which is a totally different story. Anyway I was furious at that time, for one because I was in my twenties and had led a very sheltered life and didn’t know what gender bias was until then.
Later I married K, who like my father has always let me be and we have a relationship based on equality. I had completely forgotten about this incident until last morning. I am in the U.S. for the past seven to eight years, two of which were spent in graduate school. I currently have a female boss. Incidentally she is a year younger than me, has had an Ivy League education and is incredibly smart. A client complained to her that he didn’t want me to work on his project and preferred a male who wasn’t a foreigner! She was livid and told the person that how dare he make such lame comments to her and that he had no choice in the matter. She told him that I was not just qualified to work on the project but was in fact over-qualified. She told him that he had no credibility and to not waste her time with such nonsense! When she told me what transpired, this time around I was not livid at all but felt pity for the man. In fact I burst out laughing at his ignorance and even made jokes at his expense. I have reached a conclusion that no matter where you go in the world there will always be losers like that who unfortunately make a fool of themselves by putting their foot in their mouths. Such people deserve pity or perhaps not pity as much as a kick in some place rather painful!
When I started working as an architect in India, I was the only female professional in my office. There were other women there but they were support staff. After a year of working, I was given my own project to manage. Of course this came to me by default. The firm had moved to this very swanky office building that the architect was building. When the building was almost complete, his eccentric associate moved there on site with just one draftsman and two architects, which included me. The remaining staff was at the old office. One morning the architect needed someone to quickly design something for the client based on his concept sketch. I volunteered to do it and worked non-stop to complete it. I had the drawings ready by about 8:30PM in the office, two hours after the normal office hours, when the architect walked in. He was surprised to see that apart from the cleaning people, I was the only one working and that the rest of his staff had gone home. Before that the architect always thought that I was killing time working for some pocket money till my parents got me married! So when he realized that I was serious about my career, he offered me this project to manage. Before that I had worked for him for a year and he didn't even know my name!
It was a substantial sized project for me as a young architect but rather small for him because he is an eminent architect in India and his clientele included who’s who from the country. I had to deal with a lot of bias on site because they were not used to taking directions from a woman, especially someone so young. One day the client, being a very traditional Indian man, complained about the fact that my boss was sending a “mere woman” to the site. My boss was furious and gave him an earful about his gender bias and told him that I was better than the ten male architects in his office! Of course since the architect's name and projects have a lot of prestige associated with it, he pretty much dictated terms to his clients no matter who they were. Therefore this particular client had no choice but to accept me as the project architect. Later the client was proved wrong and funnily wanted me to mentor his “poor little rich girl” daughter who wasn’t motivated in life, which is a totally different story. Anyway I was furious at that time, for one because I was in my twenties and had led a very sheltered life and didn’t know what gender bias was until then.
Later I married K, who like my father has always let me be and we have a relationship based on equality. I had completely forgotten about this incident until last morning. I am in the U.S. for the past seven to eight years, two of which were spent in graduate school. I currently have a female boss. Incidentally she is a year younger than me, has had an Ivy League education and is incredibly smart. A client complained to her that he didn’t want me to work on his project and preferred a male who wasn’t a foreigner! She was livid and told the person that how dare he make such lame comments to her and that he had no choice in the matter. She told him that I was not just qualified to work on the project but was in fact over-qualified. She told him that he had no credibility and to not waste her time with such nonsense! When she told me what transpired, this time around I was not livid at all but felt pity for the man. In fact I burst out laughing at his ignorance and even made jokes at his expense. I have reached a conclusion that no matter where you go in the world there will always be losers like that who unfortunately make a fool of themselves by putting their foot in their mouths. Such people deserve pity or perhaps not pity as much as a kick in some place rather painful!
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