Bad Driver or Jersey Driver?

I had stepped out this evening to run an errand. While returning home I was driving on a road that ends into a T Junction, with a left and a right turn lane. I am behind a car, whose driver is rather erratic and is totally disregarding the lanes. I am not sure if it is a senior citizen or a drunken driver. But this happened between 6:30 to 7PM, which is too early to have drunken drivers so I tell myself that it must be a senior citizen. Before I know it, the years will whiz by and I will be playing for that team myself; therefore I better be considerate and not lose my patience.

I am not a very patient person (those of you who know me, stop chuckling) but for some reason since childhood I have had a lot of empathy for elderly people and I always go out of my way to help them. Sometime back my boss had noticed this about me and had told me that it is called “Mitzvah.” It is a term in Judaism to describe any act of human kindness.

Anyway I patiently follow the car albeit at a safe distance. So at the T-junction the driver, who is towards the left hand side of the two lanes suddenly makes a right turn. I am in the right lane but since I am following at a safe distance, the driver missed hitting my car. By that time my heart rate was dangerously high. I gingerly follow the car anticipating the driver’s move. We were in a 25 mph zone and this car is in the center of the road (I am not exaggerating) moving at 15 mph. The oncoming traffic virtually pulls over to let the car pass and we finally come to a light. Fortunately the driver gets on the left lane while I get on the right lane. I am completely relived that I won't have to follow this driver. By that time I wasn’t in any mood for “Mitzvah” or “Punya karma” (good deed in Sanskrit).

Anyway I pull next to the car to make a right turn and look to my left for any oncoming traffic when I notice the driver, a young woman totally engrossed in a cell phone conversation! I am furious because women like her give the rest of us, female drivers a bad name. I cuss at her like a sailor but fortunately since my windows were rolled up no one but the Almighty and my conscience heard me! *blushing*

Abstract Art

I love painting….I love sketching and I LOVE colors. Anyway here is the abstract water color that I made for my cousin, who is an amazing person and whose wife is the sweetest, as a housewarming gift. I made two paintings for him; one a Ganesha and the other is this painting. His wife loves abstracts and requested one from me. Anyway I mailed the Ganesha a few months ago but had not completed this one then.


(This photo was taken right after completion. Since I took it, as opposed to the husband, there is no composition. Don't have patience for all that!)

My mother of course has to warn me with consequences, like she used to when I was a child, if I were to do kanjoosgiri (miserly behavior in Hindi) and embarrass her by sending it as is without framing! Of course in response, I get annoyed with her for even thinking that I would do something like that but the actual reason for my annoyance is that she knows me so well! By the way it's not kanjoosi but procrastination that is the culprit.



Anyway so I got it framed and have even packed it (keeping my fingers crossed) for mailing. The only challenge is that I have to overcome my inertia and go to the damn post office on a Saturday to mail it! I actually did overcome it last Saturday only to find that the post office was closed due to Veteran's Day. Anyway I must mail this before this year ends OR maybe I should have a new year resolution "I won't procrastinate in 2007." What do you think?

PS: If anyone cares or wants to know, this was done on a 300 lbs Arches hot press paper and the size is 11" by 14."

Samosa Chaat: The Healthy Way!

When you are a glutton on a diet like yours truly and her husband, you look for ways to make your food interesting without being guilty of crimes of the dieting world. We were craving some samosa chaat last evening and therefore decided to make some. I have used minimal oil and have baked the samosas in lieu of frying.



SAMOSA

Ingredients:

For the coating:
2 cup plain flour (maida)
Water for mixing.
1 tsp oil
Pinch of baking powder
Salt to mix

Mix flour, baking powder, oil and salt. Then add water to make a stiff dough. Let it stand for half an hour.

For the filling:
3 potatoes
½ cup green peas (cooked)
1 tsp cumin seeds
1 tsp coriander seeds powder
1 tsp carom (ajwain) powder
1 tsp fennel seeds powder (saunf)
1-2 tsp oil
Red chilli powder as per your taste/tolerance, I added 1 tsp.
1 tsp turmeric powder
Salt to taste
Juice of one lemon
1 tsp of Kasuri Meethi (dried fenugreek leaves)

(I purposely abstained from adding onions or garlic to see if the taste is compromised and found that it isn't).

Heat oil in the kadhai (wok), add the cumin seeds to the hot oil. Once the oil is heated, set the stove on low then add the cooked peas, potatoes, and sauté it on low heat. Add the above-mentioned spices and get if off the stove. Then add the lemon juice over it and mash it.

Method:
Take the above-mentioned dough and divide it into 3” diameter balls. Roll the dough out consistently into about 8”-10” diameter slightly elliptical in shape. Cut through the center to divide it into two crescents. Take one crescent and join the straight ends to make a cone. Keep a bowl of cold water. Dip your fingers into the cold water and run your fingers on one of the edges. This will seal both the straight edges. Fill the shell with the mashed filling and seal the edges with water, as explained above. The samosa should be able to stand!

Baking:
Pre-heat the oven to 400 F then lower the temperature at 300 F at the time of setting the tray of samosas (in the center rack) for baking. It takes around 50 minutes to perfectly brown the samosas. I would recommend setting the kitchen timer at 25 minutes and then checking the oven at the end of it to turn the samosas over and then leave it for another 25 minutes.

The baking powder does the trick as the samosa shell doesn’t turn out to be chewy.

CHOLE

Ingrediants:
1-2 small onions finely chopped
2 tsp of ginger garlic paste
1 can of chickpeas (Normally I soak chickpeas overnight but since this was a last minute craving hence canned chickpeas)
1 cup tomato puree
1 tsp red chilli powder
1 tsp cumin and coriander powder
1-2 tsp chole masala (readymade)
½ tsp home made garam masala (Optional)

Method:
Heat 2 tsp oil in a wok, add a pinch of asafetida (for digestion). Saute the onions until they are pink. Add the ginger-garlic paste and the tomato puree. Add red chilli powder. Add the chole and the masala’s to the mixture and mix it well. Add salt to taste. Set it on medium to low heat for about 10 to 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. The idea being that it should be sauce-like for the samosa chat.

Garnish this with chopped onions, a dollop of yogurt and fresh cilantro leaves and serve it with mint chutney and date-tamarind chutney to the side.

BON APPETIT!

Snooty sales staff and frumpy customers

For the most part I like to be well turned out. By that I mean my eyebrows are always in shape, my hair is always styled not coiffed and I seldom step out without lip gloss, some mascara or kohl/eye shadow and always smell good. I don’t follow the dictates of fashion yet try to have a smart wardrobe with classic peices. Well that is me on weekdays but on weekends I tend to slack a lot. I prefer wearing glasses as opposed to contact lenses, colorless gloss and won’t be caught dead wearing mascara/kohl etc. This is especially true when I am out biking, I don’t want to attract bees and wasps to the sweet scented cosmetics and fragrances that I love.

Anyway I have noticed that whenever I am dressed down, as in sans make up with track pants, I am treated snootily by sales girls in the mall. This is especially true in stores selling cosmetics and make up. They probably talk about me amongst themselves saying, “Eww she is like so like blah….why should I even help her.” “Oh my God Tiffany…did you see her hair.” “Yeah Krista, she needs some serious highlights and needs to do her nails....oh my God she needs a manicure,” etc etc….a la Legally Blonde. Anyway usually it works in my favor because appearances are deceptive and I am a makeup and cosmetic fiend hiding behind the frump and this way I end up buying whatever I need as opposed to buying stuff I don’t need at all!


Case in point being last night when I went to Macy’s because I was craving for some nice MAC lipglass and do enjoy some retail therapy from time to time. Those of you, who haven’t tried them, please do. This is a lazy woman’s solution to lipstick and gloss. Plus it tastes like vanilla, lasts longer than drug store glosses and looks so natural! Anyway I went there in the evening after work so was in my office clothes. I stop by the MAC counter where the ever so zealous sales girls help you. I kind of know what I want but there is this cute looking gay guy at the counter who always talks to me about skin care. I love talking to him and he has the most amazing tips to offer for example,“Girl you shouldn’t forget to exfoliate your hands." He is flamboyantly gay, so he has the stereotypical mannerisms and will touch you, as in your arm and hair, while talking. So anyway I know what shade I want and I tell him what I am looking for. He is an amazing salesgirl because I ended up buying mascara, eye shadow, lipstick and many other items not to mention the lip gloss I originally set out to buy! I am planning to return the others in a little bit as I don’t really need the stuff that I purchased. I am hoping that the guy isn’t there and by the way I am wearing my glasses, old jeans and sweat shirt!

Movie Review: Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna

I saw Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna last evening. Why? Well I did not have anything better to do so I thought I might as well torture myself. Yes, the verdict is out now…Sai is a masochist. All I can say is that Karan Johar (KJ), whose level of maturity is comparable to a fifteen year old school girl (scratch that I am sure a fifteen year old would be more mature than Karan Johar), should restrict himself to writing candy floss, feel good romances about inane people who are caught in a time warp and adhere to customs and traditions that are totally irrelevant in today’s society. This time the moron has tried to explore extra marital affairs and relationships in general. I don’t know where he has met such people or on whom has he based this film on. If they are based on real life characters then I am so grateful to God that I haven't met such people.

He hasn’t established the reason or reasons why Shahrukh or Rani who are married to Preity and Abhishek respectively have had troubles in their respective marriages. The reasons he has alluded to are rather flimsy and unconvincing. Shahrukh broke his foot and couldn’t play soccer professionally while Preity became a successful fashion editor…big deal! Life is tough and for some people it is lot more tougher than others. Preity's character is just a busy professional and a rather nice person and if KJ would have looked around beyond the vacuous Bollywood types, he would realize that a lot of female professionals in our generation are indeed very busy and it is not a big deal in most modern homes. You actually feel sorry for Preity's character to land up with such a loser spouse!

I want to understand the thought processes that go on in KJ’s head. This will enable me to understand why someone like Amitabh was cast as an elderly debauch? It seemed that this character was introduced to provide some comic relief but I fail to find humor in vulgarity. Here is this man who leads a licentious life but at the same time during crises wants to guide his family. He has a hypocritical view to life. I cannot imagine a man with no respect for women based on his tasteless jokes would have so much wisdom. KJ is insulting the intelligence of his audience. Preity Zinta was cast as a fashion editor for some fashion magazine in New York. Now if one has to see a convincing fashion editor it has to be Meryl Streep in the movie “The Devil wears Prada.” The sleekness, sophistication, the subtle sarcasm and drive were so elegantly portrayed by the wonderful Meryl Streep. She was fabulous…."that’s all. " The reason why Rani was unhappy with Abhishek was not established in a convincing fashion at all. In the end it appears that the characters potrayed by Shah Rukh and Rani are these selfish, unhappy, egocentric people who walked out of a perfectly workable situation.

Someone needs to tell Karan Johar, who only knows to show films about people falling in love in exotic locales and running across snow clad hills in chiffon sarees and halter blouses, that people usually work hard in consolidating their relationships. If one has made a commitment then one does need to work (some days are especially arduous) to nurture and strengthen it. People holding hands and walking into the horizon is just the beginning not the end! There will be situations where one has to work hard to keep that relationship alive, expecially when there are children involved.

How would KJ know all this? Alas! From his movies one gets the impression that the only serious literature he must have read in school must have been romance novels like Mills and Boon. Perhaps that is where he gets his inspiration from. Note to self: It will be more fun to pick lint from my sweater OR even watch the ever so boring “Chocolat” over and over again than watching any of Karan Johar’s movies!

Devil Wears Prada

Meryl Streep as Miranda Priestley in the movie "The Devil Wears Prada"

Since I mentioned the movie “The Devil Wears Prada,” while reviewing KJ’s “KANK,” I thought I might just add my two cents. I saw this movie first day first show in July. It was a Meryl Streep week for me. The previous Friday, we had had seen the movie “Prarie Home Companion,” which is a fictional account of off-the-stage activities of one of our favorite shows on NPR with the same name. For some reason I love the Midwest and the polite Midwesterners, who are such a contrast from people from the east coast especially the tri-state area, are so beautifully portrayed by Streep and others. I even thought her accent was dead on!

The movie “The Devil Wears Prada,” is based on chick lit book with the same name and is allegedly semi autobiographical. I NEVER read chick lit so haven’t read the book, but do sometimes watch chick flicks, having enjoyed films like “Bridget Jones diary in the past, therefore I have seen this film. I know it is paradoxical, isn't it.

Anyway I digress, so moving on to the story Ann Hathaway (Princess Diaries) who is a graduate from Northwestern, is this frumpy girl who lands up a job as an assistant to the high priestess of fashion and an editor of a fashion magazine, essayed so beautifully by Meryl Streep.

The one thing that bothers me is the notion that if you are academically inclined then you must be frumpy or must take pride in not being stylish. Most of us, including yours truly, are guilty of frumpiness in our teens and early twenties; especially when you want to be taken seriously. For some reason if you are stylish and wear make up, then of course it is assumed that there is nothing going on between your ears. That is a stereotype that must be busted and usually is busted by women in their thirties and older (for example, the journey of Hillary Clinton from her Yale days to her current avatar) who are more confident about themselves and are confident to not care how others perceive them.

This movie showcases her journey as this gawky young woman who gets transformed into a fashionista. She initially looks through the superficiality but then gets sucked into the high fashion world of New York and Paris. Betrayal of trust and doing whatever it takes to get ahead seems to be the norm there. She seems to be on-call 24/7, running errands for the demanding boss than spending time with her boy friend who teaches fourth graders in South Bronx, which is such a contrast to her career. Her friends make fun of her but neither are they paying her bills nor are offering to do so.

Ann Hathaway is refreshing but of course the film belongs to Meryl Streep. She has given such a human touch to this ogre boss that you actually like her in the end. You feel that she is just a victim of circumstances, which is staying ahead in the dog-eat-dog world of fashion. Of course the movie is not a complete satire but there are funny moments, when as an outsider you look at that shallow and superficial world but think that it must be exaggerated and could be more a caricature of the personalities than their reality. The dichotomies faced by Ann Hathaway are understandable and you empathize with her character. She is immensely likeable in that movie. Predictably she leaves the job to pursue a more serious writing career.

Methi Parathas

I had blogged earlier that we are avoiding meat these days. Instead of going cold turkey we are taking baby steps. When I say meat I do not include fish in that because neither of us can ever give up fish! To rephrase the above statement we are avoiding red-meat and limiting chicken to every other week. Besides there is only so much chicken one can eat; therefore for an interesting meal, I am digging into the wealth of amazing vegetarian recipes that Indian cuisine offers. In my humble opinion, apart from Indian cuisine no other cuisine in the world can offer so many tasty vegetarian dishes!

This evening I was craving for some nice Methi (fenugreek leaves) parathas. I don't care about Methi preparations in general but absolutely love METHI PARATHAS!

Ingredients:

Wheat Flour 3 Cups
Gram Flour (Besan) 1 ½ Cup
Fresh Methi (Fenugreek) leaves washed & dried 1 bunch
Kasuri Methi (dried fenugreek leaves), crushed ½ cup
Fresh Cilantro finely chopped ½ cup
Cumin and Corriander powder (ground Dhania Jeera) 1 tsp
Carom powder (Ajwain) 1 tsp
Turmeric 1 tsp
Red Chilli powder (Paprika) 1 tsp
Salt to taste
Oil (you can use olive oil) 1 tsp
1 cup Yogurt for mixing

Method:

Mix the wheat and gram flour. Finely chop the fenugreek leaves and mix it with fresh cilantro and kasuri methi. Add this mixture to the mixed flour. Add the cumin and coriander powder, carom powder, turmeric, salt to the flour as well. Spread the oil to the above and add a little yogurt (do not add all the yogurt. I estimated about one cup but you might not need all of it). Care should be taken to avoid the above mixture to become completely watery and sticky hence the tip to add just a little and then some more if need arises. Keep on kneading till the dough is soft and consistent. The softness should be just enough so that you can roll the parathas. Let it stand for at least an hour.

Rub some oil on your hands and knead it once more before dividing the dough into small golf size balls. Dip it in rice flour and roll evenly into 6” diameter circles. Care should be taken so that it does not stick. Rice flour makes the parathas rather fluffy. Heat an iron skillet and add few drops of oil. Roast the paratha on one side and turn it over. At this time add a few drops of oil to the side. Roast on both the sides, till you see brown specks. Serve with cucumber and yogurt raita. This is a mixture of yogurt, finely chopped cucumber and tad bit of mint chutney for flavor.

Am I a lady?

Well it's my lunch hour and I am bored therefore took this quiz to find out if I am indeed a lady. I have moments of extreme self-doubt but I have an efficient mental edit button that hasn't failed me yet. It cleverly edits a lot of my thoughts before I blurt them out to give the following impression.

You Are 84% Lady

No doubt about it, you are a lady with impeccable etiquette You know how to put others at ease, even if their manners aren't the greatest.

Are You A Lady?

Parvati Bai

I saw "Dor" on Friday evening and have blogged about it. The movie affected me in so many ways. It drives home the fact that women are mistreated in India, which goes even further shedding light on the plausible reasons why certain nonsensical and regressive customs are prevalent even today.

This reminded me of the story of Parvati Bai, who is a caretaker of one of my father-in-law’s weekend homes. When I got married around ten years ago, I met this woman for the first time. Her Marathi was pretty weird and it sounded more like Hindi. I asked my husband, “Where the hell is she from and where did you find her?” My husband told me that she was from Rajasthan and then proceeded to tell me how she started working for them.

When they were developing their property in the late 80s, there was this group of migrant construction workers working on the site. Upon completion of the project, the entire group left, except for this woman. One evening my husband, along with his parents, had come to their new home and found this woman sitting and crying by the gate. They asked her what was wrong and she said that she had nowhere to go and that the group had left her behind. My in-law’s felt compassion for her and offered her a job, to take care of their property and to take care of its maintenance, etc. So she has been working for them for the past 18 years. They also gave her a self-contained room on their property, so she had a roof over her head. This woman has absolutely no idea how to cook but takes good care of the house and garden. She has a green thumb and has grown avocados, passion fruit, lemons, roses, etc. I had planted a few bulbs of gladioli and tuberoses and she nurtured them as if they were her own children!


This photo of Parvati was taken when we visited our home in February 2006.

When we were newly weds, my husband and I would go to that home every other weekend. We also moved there for two years while working on some projects outside Mumbai. I noticed that her arms had many tattoos. That lined face and tattoos had so much character and told a story. Once I asked her if she would let me do her portrait. Painting is not just my hobby but my passion as well. She happily agreed and we had around two to three sittings.

I started asking her questions about her life. She told me that she was born in a remote village in Rajasthan, not far from Jaipur. She was married at a young age. She couldn’t bear any children therefore her husband had married again. She was treated badly by her husband and his family, who would starve her and her own family disowned her. She couldn’t take it anymore and escaped from there but had nowhere to go to. Yet she had the will to live. She worked day in and day out on different construction sites for years. She even worked on a construction of a dam and shared a lot of horror stories about that experience with me. This kind of arduous manual labor took its toll and she eventually lost the strength required to work on construction sites; therefore no one wanted to employ her. She found some hope to live when my father-in-law offered her this job, which she considers a very easy job.

She loves children very much so whenever my older sister used to visit with her son, who was five years old then, she would take him with her to the park and entertain him. You would see her with other children in the neighborhood and it was obvious that she loved them a lot. I always felt very sympathetic towards her. My in-laws used to tell me that she had found a gullible idiot in me! That is untrue because I am not at all gullible and have a good perception about people. She would always tell me in her broken rural dialect of Marathi, “Bhabhisaa….lai vaitag kadalaya,” which means that she has had a very difficult life.

One day she told us that she had never seen the sea and wanted to see the sea. My father-in-law owns another weekend house by the Arabian Sea, so we offered to take her with us the next time we went there. As one descends the beautiful Sahayadri Mountains, the small homes in the valley below look very scenic. That particular day was during the monsoon season, when the mountains come to life! She was in the backseat, jumping up and down like a child and clapping her hands and exclaiming, “Aiyyaaa baaya….Khaddyat lee ghara,” which translates as “Oh my God, look at the homes in the hole (gorge)!” She had never seen different landscapes that we all take so much for granted! She used to always tell my husband and me with tears in her eyes, that no one treated her well and that people always have been so mean and nasty to her, till she met our family. She told my husband that his parents gave her money and shelter but both of us gave her love. We didn’t think and still don’t think that we were doing anything exceptional. This is the least a human being can do for a less fortunate fellow human being.

This brings back to the question are women commodities for barter? Is she worth only when she can bear children, albeit a male heir to continue the family legacy? God forbid if she were to lose her spouse then she can be exploited and her fate can be decided by some callous male member of her late husband’s family. If she felt helpless and didn’t have courage to fight back and was exploited and consequently was to get pregnant, then the family loses face. When did such people even have any credibility to begin with?

The moral of Parvati’s story is that one should take one’s own decisions and not let someone else take them for you. Yes, her life was full of hardships but isn’t that better since she has led it on her own terms and not dictated by others. The movie “Dor” was just that… a movie. You are entertained and when it’s over you go back to your life. Experiences of women like Parvati, is the cruel reality of life. Yet if one has the guts and courage to fight all the harshness, life does offer some clemency...EVENTUALLY!

Movie Review: Dor

This evening I saw the movie "Dor" (means cord in Hindi), written and directed by Nagesh Kuknoor. If I were to review in Mumbai street talk I would assess Dor as "Dor phillum boley to ekdum hatke hain.....kuch dhinchak nahin hain par apun ko ekdum jhakaas lagaa," which if any non-desi wants/cares to know translates as, this film is not your run-of-mill Bollywood fare but is unique, there isn't any glamour in the film (that is typically associated with Bollywood) but still I loved it!

I had seen Nagesh Kuknoor's "Hyderabad Blues" way back in the 90s. I haven't seen any of his subsequent films. Based on my past experience I did know what to expect from a Kuknoor film and wasn't disappointed one bit. This story is about two women from different parts of India who, by cruel stroke of fate, are bound by one common thread. One of the women, Zeenat is a strong independent muslim woman from Himachal Pradesh. This part is essayed beautifully by Gul Panag while the other Meera, is a very young girl from rural Rajasthan, essayed by Ayesha Takia. Both their husbands are working in Saudi Arabia. The former's spouse is wrongly accused of murdering the latter's spouse and is facing capital punishment. The only way out would be amnesty granted, if the victim's widow signed a petition forgiving the accused. By the way what kind of law is that, when someone is condemned to a death penalty without any trial? I have read the book Princess, written by some female member of the royal family, which describes the life of women in Saudi Arabia. Why am I surprised by this law?....duh. Anyway this movie talks about Zeenat's journey to find Meera, their friendship and the subsequent emancipation of Meera.

It is a feminist film, written by a man. There are couple of things which are very disturbing in this movie. One is that women are treated like a chattel, with no rights and their lives are filled with despair on widowhood. Also it drives home the fact that women are sometimes each other's worse enemies. The other thing is that her father-in-law, played by the venerable Girish Karnad, on one hand talks about the family honor but on the other is ready to send his young, beautiful, widowed daughter-in-law to the bed of some man who will save their ancestral mansion (haveli). A widow lives a hopeless life where she is treated as a commodity for barter. This makes sense why women from Rajasthan used to jump en masse on their husband's funeral pyre during the medieval times. For them a horrific death was a better option than being a part of the conqueror's harem! What is this nonsense about the family honor? The men in this film are all emasculated.

This film isn't dark, except the fact that two young women's lives come crashing down, but is in fact positive. It is very heartening that Zeenat inspires Meera, which gives her the strength to break the shackles that bind her. Gul Panag was very convincing as Zeenat. Ayesha Takia is a young, talented actress. She brought out the emotions and poignancy to the character but her accent was way off! She did not have the rural rajasthani accent that was so necessary for her to be convincing. Girish Karnad has a miniscule role so he is wasted in this film. I loved Shreyas Talpade as the "bhairoopiya," who helps Zeenat in her quest and is besotted by her. Bhairoopiya means someone who is a master of disguise. These are entertainers, who are nomadic and move from town to town entertaining people. He however doesn't have the strength to go through the entire mission with her and leaves to go his way, which implies that women don't need men to give them courage. This should be intrinsic.

The cinematography is beautiful, moving from the verdant slopes of the Himalayas to the desert of Rajasthan. The colors and character of both these distinctly different places is captured superbly. The clothes and make up are realistic so you don't have any village belles wearing heavy make up a la Bollywood from the 60s to the 90s. The music score is mediocre, except for Kesariya Balama. One of the songs sounded like a TV commercial from India (like "Jo OK sabun se nahayein kamal sa khil jayey....you get the point). Jokes apart, if you haven't seen this movie, I would definitely recommend that you watch it.

Hallelujah!

The above picture is of yours truly, haven't included my face. I figured since it is past Halloween there is no point scaring my readers! Its alright you needn't thank me, for being so considerate.

In my previous posts, I have mentioned the fact that I do enjoy a good glass of wine. Of course I prefer white and blush wines to red. The bottomline, however is that wine is wine, therefore why discriminate based on color? This morning when I started reading this article about the health benefits of resveratrol present in red grapes and wine, I was ecstatic! Till I read the end of the article, which said “even if resveratrol does turn out to be a miracle drug, a wine glass would probably not be the preferred delivery method. According to Kaeberlein, it would take over 300 glasses of wine per day to equal the amount of resveratrol fed to the obese mice in this study.” Now that is certainly not good news for my liver and my expanding girth; therefore note to self: please scratch the plan of including a daily glass of red wine.

Among other things….

I had gone to my car dealer for an oil change this evening. I am currently reading Thomas Friedman’s book, “The World is Flat,” so took it with me to read in the interim. In the waiting area the TV was on full blast and since I was the only person present there, I shut the damn thing off! A smart and attractive woman, who could be in her early to mid forties, walks in a little later. She asked me if I had shut the TV off. I reply half guiltily, “Sorry I did, but you may switch it on if you like.” She said that it didn’t matter to her and it was alright since I was reading. Sighting of such courteous people is a rarity in New Jersey. Now had I met her in Michigan (where I used to live previously and like to go back and visit), I wouldn't be surprised. Then she commented about the book I was reading, as she had listened to the audio version. We started talking and she told me about what she was currently listening on her morning commute. It is an audio version of "The Sonoma Diet" book. According to her this diet is wonderful. Apparently you can lose a dress size in ten days. She told me that it was fantastic and described it in detail. She looked fabulous so I take her word for its effectiveness! I don’t know though if I would have the discipline to follow any diet seriously. Anyway I came home and did a wikipedia search about it, which you can read here.

These days I have stopped stepping on the weighing scale and I don’t dare to look in the mirror when I have my glasses or contact lenses on. With 20/20 vision I look like a nightmare! The only plus point is that I am 5’7.5” tall, therefore I can carry some excess pounds that my desi genes have generously bestowed upon me. The only problem is that these days I feel like I am bursting at the seams. Oh well, right now I will enjoy this chocolate while typing and shall think about my weight issues tomorrow!

What the hell was she thinking?

The above picture and related article is from the rediff website.

Who the hell wears a leather jacket and boots in Mumbai's weather? I am not going to waste my time commenting on what she has worn. All I can say that the wearer needs to take a Style 101 course. If some designer/stylist (?) has dressed her then she needs to fire her/him immediately!

To those who are Bollywood virgins or are too embarassed to admit (like me, depending on whom I am talking to....lol!) that they watch Bollywood movies, this is Aishwarya Rai, beauty queen and an Indian actress.

Humanizing pets

The below pictures are from an email someone forwarded to me. It contained photographs of puppies with cheesy captions. I thought some of the pictures were cute so I have them here with my captions! By the way one of my pet peeves is when people treat their pets like humans; that to me is taking the term "domestic animals" a bit too far.



Mommy look what the stork brought...



How the hell does one use this?



Am I pretty or what?



White is "in" this fall!



Jesus! Why do I have to dress up for Halloween?



What? The pillow was too hard!



I can't wait!!!! I will be able to drink in three human years!!!

Sunday lunch the Thai way

My husband and I love Thai food, actually I am wrong we just love food. Anyway we especially love their green and red curries. Savoring those curries is an orgasmic experience. My husband always laughs whenever I say this. It reminds him of Meg Ryan in the restaurant scene in “When Harry met Sally.” The famous scene where Sally (Meg Ryan) and Harry (Billy Crystal) are arguing over a man’s inability to recognize a fake orgasm and Sally claims that men cannot tell the difference. Ryan, who is fully clothed and eating her lunch, to prove her point demonstrates the skill as other diners watch. The scene ends with Meg Ryan casually returning to her meal as a nearby patron places her order: "I'll have what she's having."

Anyway we either go to Siam in Lambertville, NJ or Thai Village in Princeton, NJ. Siam is wonderful. The ambience is rather simple but the food and service is outstanding. It is a BYOB (bring your own bottle) place. The only problem is that it is rather small and is so popular that you have to make prior reservations on weekends. So if you crave for Thai food on weekends then you cannot satisfy your craving unless you are ready to wait for a few hours! We also go to Thai Village in Princeton. This restaurant has had mixed reviews but I simply LOVE their green and red curries. This place is unpretentious in a rather pretentious town like Princeton. Again it is BYOB, moderately priced and the ambience is very simple but the food is very good. My husband loves Pad Thai but according to him this place doesn’t compare with Siam. I beg to differ though!

Anyway so today we decided to go for a late lunch. The place was rather empty barring a few people. As soon as we entered we noticed an Indian couple, who noticed us as well and kept staring at us. Whenever people look at me, I usually nod at them. These guys obviously didn’t quite understand basic courtesy. The woman had a dour face and kept on staring while the guy (according to my husband) was checking me out from the corner of his eye. Note to self: Don’t nod at FOBs EVER (being a FOB myself I can say FOB without it ever being offensive to anyone). We settle down near a window and two tables behind us is a chatty group of three Americans, two guys and one woman. They were older probably in their late fifties and appeared to be the intellectual types. One of the men apparently loves the sound of his voice. He was talking nonstop the entire time. The Indian couple leaves in a little bit and there are just the five of us in that restaurant.

The three patrons were already eating when we walked in but I could hear them better than my husband, who was seated across the table. This man was holding a monologue and was talking about himself. We were forced to eavesdrop but got so bored. There is only so much one can listen to other people’s stories about themselves. Anyway very soon our order arrives. I must say that their service is very quick. By the way the guy was still talking loudly and we were both very annoyed. The red curry, as always, was excellent; I love the flavor that Thai basil renders to the dish. I again make that comment to my husband about how this is so orgasmic. My husband starts laughing again. He jokingly suggests that perhaps I should try the Meg Ryan scene so that the loud talker behind us shuts the hell up!

I am savoring the lovely aroma and I am completely engrossed in my food and therefore neither do I hear my husband nor the people behind us. After a few morsels the only sound I heard was my teeth chewing and felt my taste buds registering the various flavors. The annoyance was replaced by sheer bliss! I didn’t care about where this man went on vacation or what the hell he did in Africa. Oh by the way the guy reminded me of Peterman from Seinfeld and my expression was just like what Elaine had, whenever Peterman started narrating his escapades in exotic locations! To all my Maharashtrian readers, don't you think Seinfeld's humor is a lot like our own, the late Pu La Deshpande's humor?

Diwali

(The above photograph is of the rangoli pattern that I made for Diwali. I got regular earthern lamps and decorated them and then burned tea lights in them. Traditionally one uses earthern lamps with a cotton wick and oil)

Diwali or Deepawali is a major festival celebrated by Hindus all over the world. Holidays like Diwali makes one reminisce about the wonderful times spent with one's loved ones. This is especially true for all expatriate Indians. For the past few years I had had some professional commitments which made it impossible to celebrate Diwali. All we did was buy sweets and go out for dinner. Besides the past few years we have been visiting our families during Thanksgiving so it wasn’t really a big deal. This year however we won’t be going to India during Thanksgiving and I was determined to continue my family tradition. Also Diwali fell on a weekend which made it possible to have a traditional Diwali.

Today is Narak Chaturdashi. This day commemorates Krishna’s victory over the evil demon Narkasura. Chaturdashi means fourteen in Sanskrit. It is the fourteenth day since the full moon. In the evening people decorate their homes with rangoli, decorative lamps (called Kandeel) and oil lamps. It is believed that Goddess Lakshmi (Goddess of Wealth) visits your home. People also have Lakshmi Pooja (or prayer to Goddess Lakshmi) in their homes or in their offices/place of work. Tomorrow, i.e. October 22nd, when the moon completely wanes, would be the official Diwali day! Another important day is the day after Diwali, which is "Diwalicha Padva" in Marathi or "Balipratipada" in Sanskrit, which is the beginning of a New year and on this day married couples celebrate their love for each other. The festival ends with Bhau beej, where women celebrate their love for their brothers.

Traditionally in Maharashtra during Diwali, people wake up at the crack of dawn and take a ceremonial oil bath which is massaging with scented oil and using an herbal concoction called “utane” in lieu of soap. This is made of sandalwood, camphor, rose, orange skin, turmeric etc. There was one custom that we followed as children on Narak Chaturdashi, which was to break this tiny melon like fruit/vegetable which is called “kareetee” in Marathi (I think). This fruit symbolized Narkasura.

For me, diwali meant the early morning bath, wearing new clothes, and eating the various goodies that my mother painstakingly made with help from her two maids (whom she had trained so well). The lovely rangoli patterns that we would draw with our mother and of course not to mention the fire crackers. My mother is very artistic and would make Diwali cards at home. My older sister and I would help her in that as well (my younger sister cannot draw to save her life). My father, like all fathers, would enthusiastically buy different types of firecrackers for us. Of course we didn’t have a brother and were so girlish that we were happy firing delicate pretty crackers as opposed to the loud resounding firecrackers that are so popular in India! Another important day for us was Bhaubeej. Since we did not have a brother all my cousins (from my father's side) would come to our home for Diwali without fail! We would have a major bhaubeej luncheon party at home. My cousins would then fire the loud resounding crackers, which we girls were too scared to fire! We also got teased a lot by our cousins, which seemed annoying then but brings back fond memories now. We never missed having a brother because even today I know that my cousins will always be there for us! My mother's three brothers would come to visit us in the evening and my father would go and visit his two sisters in the evening.

By the way there is nothing like an herbal concoction for your skin. "Utane" exfoliates and moisturizes as well and has this lovely mild fragrance. This is a kind of product Bath and Body works can only dream of carrying in their store!

Anyway this evening, we went to the Hindu temple for the Lakshmi Pooja. It was really nice to see a lot of people dressed up for the festival. We came home and had a wonderful vegetarian dinner with some nice White Zinfandel. I must add that Riesling, Vouvray and Zinfandel's are my three favorite wines with Indian food. These wines complement the spicy flavors of our food really well. Of course I am not an oenophile or a person who has pretentions about understanding wines but this is my humble opinion!

Reminiscing the days left behind

I read this blog regularly and yesterday's post mentioned about using the friday word "left behind." Therefore here is my post using the word left behind.

It is raining since morning. The leaves are changing color and the weather is rather nice, neither too cold nor hot and humid. I am craving for some chai, vada pav and kanda bhaji (onion fritters. Vada pav and kanda bhaji are popular snacks in Mumbai). I want a nice hot chai with masala and ginger.

Whenever it rains I always reminisce about Bombay and my student days (it wasn't called Mumbai then). Whenever there was a huge monsoon downpour, classes would be suspended. The train service used to be super-slow but regardless my friends and I would still go to college! Not because we were interested in studying…NO! Instead we went to college because we wanted to just hang out with our friends. Therefore, my friends and I would take the train at our usual time, around 7AM, which would reach Victoria Terminus (V.T.) Station (now Chatrapati Shivaji Maharaj (C.S.T.) Station) around 9AM (thanks to the torrential downpour). We would then go to the library, where we could leave our bags with the attendants. Of course you had to be reading or studying in the library to leave your bags as these attendants had a major attitude! Therefore we would then hang out for about fifteen minutes pretending to study but actually waiting to see who braved the monsoon downpour to come to school. Then one by one the group would quietly slip out. We thought we were being so slick but I am sure the attendants knew about this all the while and just indulged in us! We would walk all the way over to Girgaum Chowpatty, which is quite a walk from V.T. (I still prefer to call it V.T. as opposed to C.S.T. as the British built Bombay and we have to accept our colonial history and not be in denial of it! In addition, Pratapgad was not renamed Victoria Fort by the Brits so shut up Shiv Sena).

Anyway there is nothing like watching the Arabian Sea in the monsoon with the waves surging passionately towards the shore, lashing at the rocks. We would sit there for hours enjoying life's simple pleasures. Over chai and pav bhaji from Sukh Sagar, we would discuss architecture, politics, our dreams, and tease each other. There was no point taking umbrellas during such downpours. We would be completely drenched in the rain but it was so worth it!

This morning I was reminiscing those days of innocence, hope, simple uncomplicated friendships that I have left behind. I have moved on geographically, intellectually and have matured in my tastes yet the green chai latte that I am having right now does not quite cut it. I do miss the flavor and taste of the decocted chai from the local chaiwalla!

Project Runway Finale!

L to R: Jeffrey, Uli, Laura and Michael

As I had blogged earlier, I hate reality TV but love Project Runway. Last night was the finale and typical of reality TV drama they hinted that Jeffrey…oh my God…. might have outsourced his garments. Laura, whose brain does not have a mental edit option, blurted it out on last week’s episode. So last week they ended the episode on that note! Yawn…. Laura will be proved wrong and Jeffrey will be the hero who wins the competition. Guess what? That is exactly what happened.

So now moving on to the substance of the show: The 12-piece collection designed by the final four.

Michael: I really wanted him to win because I loved his work and personality. His collection however was such an anti-climax from the show! Some of his dresses were too sexy almost bordering on trashy! Maybe he was trying to make a bold statement, who knows. One could be bold but yet have taste!

Uli: She got rid of her typical “hotz veather” inspiration visible throughout the competition and despite staying true to her tropical theme did a collection sans prints and with lovely subdued colors. Being a woman she understands women completely! Of course her collection did not have a range. She wore pants but did not design a single pair of pants!

Laura: Very elegant clothes! Again all her collection was in black and there was no range, as all her garments were evening wear. Elegant but so predictable, there wasn't a surprise element, which is not good for a competition. But hey she got a chance to show her clothes at Bryant Park! I loved her elegant yet kid friendly apartment and the fact that she is not the typical New York nouveau rich biyatch. I do love her candor!

Jeffrey: I am sorry but I have a soft corner for this guy. I agree that he is rude, obnoxious but perhaps that is just a defense mechanism. We saw his soft side when he was with his kid. He, like a phoenix, has risen from ashes to establish a successful business in LA. His collection was very creative, not my aesthetic personally, but must give credit for his range. He deserved to win!

This season is over and I can go into Reality TV hibernation until the next season. Those of you who are project runway virgins here is the official website and I found another catty blog this morning which makes fun of the designers etc.

How could someone be so ignorant?

When I was in graduate school a few of my classmates would organize happy hour. On a nice sunny day, which were far and few in between, we would go to an outdoor cafe, which was famous for its Sangria. Out of all the international students, I was the only one who would join the group. Anyway most of my classmates were very cosmopolitan but there were some people who were clueless about anything outside their own familiar surroundings and I have one such incident that I must share with you.

One nice sunny evening a few of us from our program were hanging out at this cafe. One of my classmates, who was originally from upstate New York, came up to me and asked, “So Sai you don’t celebrate Christmas, do you?” I said, “Well I do, but just the secular part of Christmas.” Then he asks, “ So what are you, a Muslim?” I said, “No, my parents and hence I am a Hindu.” He asked me with a confused look, “What is that? Some form of Islam.” I choked on my Sangria and started laughing. I told him, “Are you serious, you don't know?" He said "No, I am from upstate NY so I don’t really know too many people who aren’t white."

I wasn't being condescending but I just couldn't resist asking him,"How can you be so complacently ignorant? Is ignorance a statement that you are trying to make?"

He might have grown up in a homogenous environment but he spent six years in this university town doing his undergraduate as well as graduate studies! I was nonplussed by the fact that he did not even care! I am not sitting on a high horse judging this guy because I think it is OK for people to not know about other cultures. But you can always ask questions before putting your foot in your mouth. Wouldn't one want to open their mind and try to learn about other people and their culture?

That made me think that this guy, despite living in such a liberal, cosmopolitan and a very intellectual environment could be so complacent in his ignorance. What can be said about an average Joe?

On the other hand maybe he was just making a very profound statement. Afterall we are same in the eyes of God and different religions are means to reach that one end. Maybe he was espousing the traditional Indian belief of "Sarva Dharma Samabhav" (everyone is created equal) and I just did not get it!

Retired life: leisure or loneliness?

Last evening my husband and I went to the temple. We were listening to Pandit Bhimsen Joshi’s CD and my husband was totally engrossed in the rendition of the raag “Yaman Kalyan” and was singing along with the maestro. Anyway he pulled into the parking space, turned off the ignition and consequently the CD was off but not my husband. Blissfully unaware of his surroundings, he continued singing. From the side view mirror I saw an elderly couple holding hands walking up to their car, an old Cadillac. Their car was parked to our right, therefore to my side. The wife was wearing a saree while the husband was wearing a tweed jacket. He walked her to the car and opened the door for her. I told my husband, “Oh look how chivalrous of that man to open the door for his wife. That is so old school. They don’t make men like that anymore.” Of course my husband was still negotiating the “swara,” so was oblivious to me, but as soon as we both stepped out, he suddenly realized his surroundings and stopped singing. The gentleman looked at him and said, “You have such a beautiful voice.” My husband, basically a very shy guy, was totally embarrassed and replied, “I wasn’t singing.” Since I love embarrassing him I said, “Sure you were” and then I looked at the gentleman and said, “Yes he was singing and thanks a lot for your compliment. I agree, he does have a lovely voice.”

So he laughed and introduced himself. He asked my husband, “So are you a Maharashtrian?” My husband just smiled at him and didn’t answer. He asked my hubby his last name. So my husband told him what it is. Those who are from Maharashtra (this might be true for the rest of India as well) would know that last names are typical to one's caste. My husband’s last name however is not a typical last name found in his caste. Anyway this gentleman said,” Oh wow so are you from the XYZ community” My husband said, “Well I really don’t understand castes but I don’t think so.”

My husband and I were brought up by our respective parents in a very cosmopolitan environment, so we do not care about provincial issues like caste, religion etc. Incidentally my parents and hence I, do belong to the XYZ community, therefore I smiled and told the guy, “If you are looking for someone from that community, then look no further” and extended my hand to shake his. He started laughing and said, “Well actually I belong to XYZ community as well so I felt a sense of kindredship when I heard your husband’s last name.” So I laughed and told him what my husband's caste was. Incidentally his wife belonged to the same caste as my husband. So he called out his wife's name and she stepped out of the car to talk to us. They were quite excited to meet us. I must add that in their generation it was rather uncommon to marry outside one's own caste. We chatted for quite a bit with them and then they left.

My husband asked me later, “Since when did you start caring about people being of your caste or Maharashtrian for that matter?” I told my husband that personally I don't care at all but the couple belonged to a different generation. They were in their seventies. They moved here, to the United States in the fifties. They were here at the time when there wasn’t any technological development; therefore they might not have been able to speak to their parents that regularly. They might not even have visited their families that often. Who knows perhaps we might have reminded them of themselves years ago. Since we spoke their language and were from their respective castes, they might have felt some kinship towards us.

The lady invited me to her home and said in Marathi, “Come home sometime, I will make “poli-bhaji” (typical Maharashtrian fare of bread and vegetables) for you.” This sentence spoke volumes of loneliness to me. They were retired. They might not have too many friends living near them. People move a lot in the United States. It is also said that the friendships established in our youth last the longest. Also as one gets older, one reverts to one's childhood or anything that is reminiscent of one's childhood. Language is one of them. Perhaps their kids might be very busy to visit them that often so they must be lonely. I think about my parents in India and realize that they are living in familiar surroundings. One does not face this kind of loneliness in India as there is a support system over there. As it is this country is hostile to the elderly, who aren’t considered productive and therefore not useful (this is a generalization and not everyone thinks like that but I could go on about issues faced by senior citizens). I can imagine what it must be for someone who did not grow up here! I don’t think their kids must be callous at all, but they just must be very busy with their own families and careers. It is not their fault; it's just the way things are that it cannot be helped!

Maybe I should take up her invitation to have “poli bhaji” sometime. Who knows when I am old and lonely I might want that too.

Bollywood Friday

I saw Dil Chahata Hai (2001) last evening. I had gone to see it in 2001, when the Indian Students Association at my university had screened the film for all the desi students. It was held in one of the large lecture halls in the Engineering school. At that time I was a graduate student and was far more interested in writing my paper than any Bollywood movie, so half-way through the movie I was completely overcome by stress and the prospect that I might not get an A, which at that time seemed far important than some stupid movie! I did not sit through the movie and I could not remember anything about it. Anyway so I saw it again last night and loved it.

I loved the pace of the movie, subtle emoting and a very contemporary story. These guys could be your buddies from school. Saif and Akshay held their own opposite Aamir Khan, who from what I hear is apparently a very selfish actor. Farhan Akhtar has maintained the tempo and you are hooked on to how the story unfolds throughout the movie. Normally I hate song sequences but in this case, not once did I not want to sit through the songs. I enjoyed the movie thoroughly.

Farhan Akhtar will be doing a remake of “Don” with Shah Rukh Khan. I have absolutely no doubt that his remake would hold its own against the original, which was such a super-hit film. From the description in Wikipedia, (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_-_The_Chase_Begins_Again) it appears that he will be adapting the movie to the contemporary times.

My generation has grown up with Amitabh Bachchan’s films. I guess Farhan’s film would be our generation's homage to the legend. I do have serious doubts though about SRK holding his own against his predecessor, the Big B. Those comparisons would be inevitable and I feel that it would be an uphill task for the King of Hamming to literally fill the big boots of the Big B. Perhaps Aamir or Abhishek could have been a more appropriate choice, but one never knows.

It is scheduled to be released during Diwali, which is next week. I can’t wait to see it or perhaps I should wait and see what the reviews are like first. :-D

Shish Taouk and Saffron Rice

The above photo was taken by my husband to commemorate my occassional spurts of culinary enthusiasm :-D

There was this nice Mediterranean/middle eastern restaurant near my town. This was owned and run by an Egyptian and had the most delectable fare! Our discovery of this restaurant was serendipitous as it was in a nondescript location. We got hooked on to their yummy pita breads, hummus, and kabobs and not to mention their heavenly baklava. It was kind of pricey, given the location and ambience but perhaps this might be due to the fact that NY Times raved about it.

They had an open kitchen and I loved to watch them cook. I had befriended the hostess who was Egyptian as well. She thought we were Pakistani and always called my husband “Khalid.” We never corrected her or clarified to her that we weren’t Pakistani or even Muslim for that matter. In fact last year for Ramadan she told me that she had biryani, tandoori chicken and kabobs for Iftar and that I could order if I wanted since it would be too much for a working woman to cook at home. I told her that we don’t fast which was half-truth, as I never disclosed the reason why. Anyway a few months ago the owner told me that he was planning to return to Egypt and that he was selling the place to some other person. He said that the restaurant would still be middle-eastern though. We checked it out under the new management and were quite disappointed. So I decided to try out Shish Taouk at home.

Shish Taouk,” I think means “skewered chicken pieces cooked over charcoal.” I had got the recipe from a Lebanese classmate. I love collecting recipes but most of the time I am too lazy to try anything out. Anyway it is served with rice, garlic paste and salad. The restaurant used to offer a platter with pita bread and hummus. I was quite pleased with the result and hence sharing this recipe on my blog.

Shish Taouk

2 pounds of chicken (boneless, skinless breast meat)
2 tablespoons olive oil
4 cloves garlic, ground into a paste
Juice from 1 lemon
1/4 teaspoon cumin powder (I lightly roasted the cumin desi-style but it is not required)
1/4 teaspoon each salt and pepper
1/2 teaspoon red chilli powder (recipe calls for cayenne pepper but who the hell cares)

Mix oil, garlic, lemon juice, and spices in a large bowl. Cut chicken into cubes, then add to the bowl, stirring to coat the chicken with marinade. Marinate it at least for 3 hours.
Put chicken onto skewers. Grill over hot charcoal for 10 - 15 minutes OR broil in the oven, turning frequently and basting with marinade. I added tomatoes and capsicum to the skewer as well.

Serves 4.

This was served with Saffron rice and garlic paste, recipe as given below.

Saffron Rice

2 cups Basmati rice, pinch of saffron, 1 ½ cups of water, ½ cup pine nuts and salt to taste. The recipe calls for butter but I didn’t add it, yet it turned out well.

Garlic Paste

1 cup whole blanched almonds

3 tbsp white bread crumbs

4 large garlic cloves crushed

2 tsp lemon juice

Salt and pepper

2/3 cup extra virgin olive oil

4 tbsp hot water

Grind the almonds, add the bread crumbs, crushed garlic, lemon juice, salt and pepper to it. Mix it very well in a food processor OR a blender. Very slowly add the olive oil to make it homogenous. Then add the water and blend it in. Refrigerate it for at least two hours before serving.

Salad:

Iceburg lettuce and julienned carrots; dressed with lemon juice, salt and pepper for that kick!

BON APPETIT!

Good night....sleep tight....don't let the bed bugs bite

One evening, this past may, my husband and I had gone biking on the trails. It was a warm day and I was wearing shorts and a sleeveless top. We returned home around sunset. I had a crab salad for dinner. The next morning I woke up with rash on my left arm. I was not sure if it was due to poison ivy or the crab salad. Anyway I tried home remedies but to no avail. The rash started spreading to my right arm, left leg, neck and even had to my face.

I panicked and went to the doctor, who was clueless as to what it was. He prescribed some ointment which despite prescription benefits cost me around 10 dollars. I used the tube within a week and I went to get a refill, I was told that I was back too soon and that I had to wait for another two weeks. When I asked him what the cost was sans prescription the pharmacist said it is 250 dollars. Whoa.....WTF....hearing that caused me to break into cold sweat. There was no generic alternative available as this medicine was imported from Germany (I think). Frustrated I went home and tried an Ayurvedic ointment, "Kailas Jeevan," which gave me some relief. More power to Kailas Jeevan! I also found out that whenever I wore long sleeves, the rash would subside. Therefore in summer I wore a long sleeve tunic, pajamas, and went to bed every night hoping for the best (pun unintended).

Anyway a few days later, my husband broke into a rash as well. Love is….breaking into rash together! One night he woke up scratching and switched on the bedside lamp to find an insect crawling on the bed. He caught hold of it and squashed it. We both did not know what it was but suspected that it might be a bed bug. Of course we had no clue as to how a bed bug looks; therefore did a google search and VOILA…. bed bug it was! We called the pest control guys immediately the next morning.

After that, were the nightmarish four months of my life! We could not sleep on our bed anymore. Therefore, we started sleeping in the living room. Bad idea! Those bugs spread from the bedroom to the living room!! They were in our closet…. they were everywhere…they were the bane of our lives. We threw our wooden bed frame and replaced it with a metal one. We got rid of a lot of stuff from our home. We packed our clothes in black trash bags and left them out in the sun, on our patio. We cleared off our closet, vacuumed our suitcases, and put everything out in the sun! Our place was a BIG MESS. Both of us are so particular about things being in its place and overall neatness that it was horrible living like this. We felt like refugees living in shelters. We had become so paranoid that we saw bugs everywhere!!!

We had the first treatment in early-May. The pest control guys did not give us proper directions as to what we had to do post treatment. We had locked the bedroom and had confined ourselves to the living room, kitchen and of course the bathroom! It was such a nightmare! Two weeks later we saw some bugs crawling in the living room. We called the pest control guys to inform them about this. They told us that this was natural and that the first month the treatment would be bi-weekly and then it was monthly, depending on the extent of infestation. We had our last treatment in mid-July and an inspection in August.

It took us almost two months to put everything back in order since then. We had to get rid of a lot of stuff. The funny thing is that according to the pest control people, we did not have a major infestation or something that is considered a serious infestation! I shudder to think what it might have been, had it been a major infestation. Another mystery is where the hell did those bed bugs come from in the first place! Apparently bed bugs have resurged in the United States in the recent years.

As I write this blog we have been bug-free for more than two months! My husband still keeps a flashlight on the nightstand. This morning around 5AM, I woke up to find my husband with his flashlight investigating the picture frames above the headboard and the mattress for bugs. I could not stop laughing because I realized that the bed bugs have totally encompassed our lives since the past five months. So even if my skin itches due to dryness…we get paranoid suspecting there might be bugs!

Ban on Child Labor

I was reading this article on the BBC news website, http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/6034203.stm, regarding the ban on Child Labor starting on October 10, which is today.

I have mixed feelings about this law, as on philosophical and intellectual level, I do believe that children are our future and that they should not grow up being deprived of their childhood. I do not however believe that just passing laws would be an effective measure. People for the most part break laws. In an overpopulated country like ours, human lives have no value, not unless you are somebody! This is the stark reality. Just passing laws without any solutions do not make sense. People will flout the laws. Unless social welfare programs are implemented to rehabilitate children laws like these are futile! If you see the states that have maximum child labor are the poorer states in our country. Dire poverty and lack of education forces these people to send their children to work. We need remedies to go to the root of the issue not just some superficial laws that can be broken.

In India, as in any democracy, we do have laws protecting the rights of our citizens but a few of them are not implemented. There is no simple explanation for that. I would like to add though that given the feudal mindset, many are not even aware of their fundamental rights! Case in example is that selective abortion or abortion of female fetuses is a crime in India. However this article, http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/828856.stm, talks about female infanticide in India. This is so barbaric and shameful. Even today in India there is such a high premium for a male child. This is a culture that worships Shakti or the female aspect of divinity and yet kills female fetuses. Ironic, is it not?

Which City do I belong to?

Someone emailed this link to me (http://ynr.blogthings.com/) and I found most of the quizzes rather lame. I love cities and therefore took this one and here are my results.

You Belong in Paris

Stylish and a little sassy, you were meant for Paris. The art, the fashion, the wine, the men! Whether you're enjoying the cafe life or a beautiful park... You'll love living in the most chic place on earth.

What City Do You Belong In?

Pennsylvania Countryside

We went to Lancaster County Pennsylvania, which is famous for their Amish population. The website is http://www.800padutch.com/.










These are few photographs from the different Amish farms as well the scenic countryside on our route. Notice the horse-carriage parked on the side of the street near an Amish farm.

My husband was a little nervous because we were the only non-whites in a homogenous white population. Nevertheless people were very polite and a lot of them waved at us....totally unlike New Jersey!

Covered Bridges

As mentioned in the earlier post, we spent the day at Lancaster County. This county is also famous for its covered bridges. You can get more information at http://www.800padutch.com/covbrdg.shtml

Notice in the third photo there is a Amish horse carriage sharing the road with cars.

Unwarranted Attention

I was reading this post on Sepia mutiny website http://www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/archives/003844.html#more. One of the bloggers has posted one of her unpleasant experiences as a woman living in Washington DC. Every woman would identify with her and would commiserate with her.

I have lived and worked in Mumbai where it is kind of common for a woman to be at a receiving end of all kinds of catcalls and misogynist slurs. Most of the time it is the petty rickshaw drivers and quite a number of times there are the so called “respectable white-collared” older men. I can most certainly pinpoint to what part of India most of them come from but I do not want to use this forum for stereotyping at all! Those of you who are reading this blog and are familiar with Mumbai will know what I am talking about.

I survived in that city with the most lethal weapon, a sharp brass kada (which is like a bangle). It worked wonders on any gropers or perverts who would try to come too close to me. I think these perverts have a secret clique where they probably warn each other about women who hit back. Because after a while these incidents stopped or rather there might have been the few perverts who commuted around the same time as me and were at a receiving end from me! From my experience I have realized that one has to be really tough no matter how scared one might feel. We all have Durga in us and that avatar does come out when provoked! This of course worked in Mumbai, where this concept of respecting your “maa” (mother) and “behen” (sister) is still prevalent thankfully.

I also lived by myself in the United States in a university town (considered a safe town). Nevertheless the downtown area had a few homeless people who would pass some disgusting comments. I have had similar experiences in New York as well. I prefer to ignore than bandy words with such scum bags. That they are living such pathetic lives is revenge, good enough for me! I live in the burbs but have had my share of unwanted comments from men. Part of my job requires dealing with the public, and if someone as much as dares to make unwanted comments, I always have the iciest tone and very scathing comebacks, without losing eye contact. It always shames them into an apology!

Regarding the so-called “respectable gentlemen,” from experience, I do know that being assertive is a first step towards standing up to these jerks. These are cowards who do not have any respect for women and do look for victims who can be subjugated. A stern look with an assertive body language works when dealing with such people. But with drunken jerks or frat boys, just walking fast and completely ignoring them is the best tactic. Also one should be aware of one’s surroundings!

I have attached this website which has tips for women to stay safe. The URL is http://www.womentraveltips.com/tips5.shtml. I would never want to be scared, which means that these cowards win because they have managed to subjugate us! I would, however, recommend exercising prudence and basically have a common sense of not venturing out alone in unfamiliar neighborhoods late in the evening, not talking on the cell phone or giving any signs that smacks of vulnerability. Also if possible do let your friends or anyone else know where you might be. Given the emotional scars and trauma that such incidents inflict, CAUTION is the best remedy!

Project Runway on Bravo

I am not a fan of reality TV but Bravo's Project Runway is an exception. Last night’s episode was a reunion with all the 14 or was it 16 designers. I love the final four and among them Laura and Michael are my two favorites. Michael because he has inherent talent and all his clothes were amazing! My favorite, however, was the one he designed for the black and white cocktail dress challenge. He thought outside the box and was the only one who had designed a white cocktail dress. Laura is an architect, and I identify with her design sensibilities and her personality in many ways. I love her outspoken and opinionated demeanor. Last night, I loved the way she tactfully defended Jeffrey regarding the infamous Darlene episode.

Jeffrey…. has had too much flak from the others regarding the Darlene (Angela's mom) episode. Agreed that he over reacted and was rude…. but most artists are emotionally high strung and this is exacerbated when you work in a high-stress atmosphere with little or no sleep. No one mentioned the fact that Darlene was an extremely difficult person to work with (of course most clients are and the client is always right). This however was a competition and what Darlene did was very sneaky. I would be mad too if my client were to tell my boss that she did not like my design in my absence, without giving me proper information and being uncooperative. Of course being a real world situation, I definitely would not have the same choice of words and tone like Jeffrey. Then again we are different individuals under different cirumstances. In addition, her comments about his tattoos and general appearance were in bad taste. I really was so annoyed when she cried. Give me a break! Besides Angela irritated me to no end, give it a rest sister! Go back to your organic farm and design those stupid bubble skirts with doilies. I am not a Jeffrey fan but I felt bad for him in that episode!

I loved the fact how Angela was booted out after going to Paris and then called back for the cocktail dress challenge and booted out again! I took perverse pleasure when that happened to Angela…I know…I know…bad Karma! Well her design for the cocktail dress would be an excellent take on a french maid's uniform for a Halloween Party. I loved Kayne…colorful Kayne. Vincent scared the hell out of me! I had a classmate who was like that. Later we found out that he was under medication for depression. Anyway I enjoy that show and love Tim Gunn. Auf Wiedersehen until my next post!

Long distance relationships

One of my friends got this wonderful opportunity on the West Coast, which basically meant leaving her life here on the East coast; consisting of her parents, current job and fiancé and moving across the continent. She was expressing to me her concerns about long-distance relationships and the fact that her fiancé was not too excited about this prospect. She was weighing the pros and cons of the situation and wanted my advice regarding the matter. Had she to make a choice, she wondered, what should she choose? So of course I am the agony aunt who would rather be a sounding board than play a role in her decision-making. Although I have my own views and experiences, I have decided to keep mum!

My take is that long distance relationships are extremely delicate and difficult but not impossible. One need not sacrifice their personal life to advance their career. One needs a supportive significant other, who is mature enough to realize that it is equally important for the other person to realize their dreams. I speak from experience as I have had a long-distance relationship myself. My husband was in India while I was pursuing my graduate studies in the United States. It was a very difficult situation, given the time difference and the geographical barrier.

Nevertheless, the things that really kept me going were his trust, commitment, love and faith! All was not hunky-dory; there were times when we faced a huge communication gap. This happened despite the fact that we used to email each other three-to four times a day and chat online all the time. I used to hang out in the library in between or after classes, writing my papers, doing my research while chatting online with my spouse. This was basically to keep each other abreast of the daily happenings in our lives.

Of course there were moments like during the Christmas holidays in my first year, unused to the severity of winter and general loneliness, when I wanted to pack my bags and return home or a feeling of immense sadness whenever we hung up after speaking on the phone. Anyway what helped us the most was communication and more communication, even disagreeing and arguing over the telephone like one would face-to-face. The conclusion was that instead of getting divorced, as predicted by a lot of "well wishers," we ended up respecting and valuing each other more. When you are away from your loved ones, you realize how much he/she means to you and how empty your life is without them! Hence both of you make an extra effort and work really hard to nurture and strengthen the relationship. One should follow one's dreams and if the other person truly loves you, he/she will let you go. If one chooses to forego their dreams, just to please the other person, there is a possibility that one might regret it later.

In my friend’s case if she chooses to move to the west coast, it will still be the same continent, same country, a three-hour time difference and just a seven hour plane ride. I am comparing this with my situation; across two continents, different countries, ten and a half hours time difference and a 22-hour plane ride! Before marriage if she has had to give up on her dreams then post-marriage she would have to be ready to sacrifice a lot of things just to please him! What is left of her life and individuality? Perhaps this separation would prove to be a good time for her to step back and see if this person is right for her. Perhaps she will realize that he is the one and the job isn’t worth it and decide to move back here. Perhaps she will realize that he is not worth it at all and stay on there. One would never know this until one leaves familiar surroundings and takes that risk. She has to weigh both the options and decide what path she wants to take. As long as she is true to herself she will not regret her decision later.

Marathon Cooking Session

These days my cooking is dependant on my mood rather than the fact that I must make something as there is nothing to eat at home! The entire summer we have been surviving mostly on salads, thankfully none of the recipes included Spinach. By the way Spinach is safe to eat again (http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/healthnews.php?newsid=53063). Of course I would have occasional spurts of enthusiasm. Nevertheless, those were few and far in between.

Yesterday was one of those rare moments of culinary inspiration. After two months of strict vegetarianism, I was craving meat. I got some lamb shank and decided to cook it the Moghlai way but improvise it a little to give my own personal touch. I also made kadhai chicken and paneer with peas. I made the garam masala myself at home (I don't like the readymade masalas). I am sharing the lamb recipe with you.

Lamb with Gravy

Garam Masala:
2 tsp of black pepper
2 tsp of Cinnamon
1 tsp of Cloves
1 ½ tsp of Brown Cardamom (4-5)
1 tsp cumin
½ tsp coriander seeds
1 tsp Bay leaves (crushed)
Mix the above ingredients, roast them lightly with a drop of oil, and after they cool, grind to make a fine powder.

Lamb Marinade:
2 lbs Lamb diced in cubes

3-4 potatoes, peeled and diced
2 tsp red chilli powder (depending on your taste and tolerance to spice)
2 tsp turmeric powder
2 tsp of the above garam masala
Juice of one lemon
Salt to taste
Mix them and leave refrigerated for at least an hour. Normally I pressure-cook the meat (two whistles) but this time I used the soup-pot. Soup-pot is ideal as you can cook on low heat with very little oil and the flavors blend in beautifully.

Ingredients for the gravy:
3-4 tsp Oil
One pinch of asafetida (an amazing digestive)
5-6 medium-sized red onions, ground to a paste.
1-inch ginger & 5-6 garlic cloves: Either Julienne or grind into a paste in the grinder.
2 tsp garam masala
1 tsp red chilli powder

2 tsp mint chutney
1-cup low fat yogurt
5-6 almonds, ground to a paste
Mix the mint chutney, yogurt and the almond paste.

½ cup raisin & a pinch of saffron.

Preparation:
Heat the oil in a pot and add a pinch of asafoetida. Add the onions and sauté them until it becomes translucent. Add the ginger-garlic paste and sauté very well until it becomes brown in color. Add one tsp of red chilli powder, 2 tsp of garam masala and keep on sautéing. Add the yogurt, chutney and almond mixture and mix it well. Add salt to taste. Then add marinated lamb and raisins.

If you have already pressure-cooked the lamb (half-cooked with two cooker whistles) then it will take around forty minutes to cook the entire dish.

If you will be using a soup-pot then, put it on medium-high for about half hour to forty-five minutes and then reduce the heat. I have an electric stove therefore it took around an hour and a half to cook the meat. The meat cooks really well without tenderizer and also requires very little oil. Garnish with a little saffron and fresh cilantro leaves. This goes very well with Basmati rice or roti. You could have tomato and onion salad to the side. Bon Appetit!

One of my American friends who is an excellent cook and with whom I swap recipes all the time, suggested that next time I should use a crock-pot. I was thinking to myself that it would make a nice Birbal ki Khichadi....he he he.