DMV

Those of you who live in New Jersey already know this but those who don't live here might be aware that in Jersey one has to get their vehicles inspected every two years. This is required pursuant to the 1990 Clean Air Act. Jersey being such a tiny state and so densely populated, I think, this requirement is a good thing. I am however not certain how efficient measure it is. Anyway like a true Jersey resident all I can say is "You gotta do what you gotta do. There ain't nothin' that you can do about it."

According to the DMV website, this is what they do:

• The inspector will determine your car's engine type and prep it for testing.
• Your brakes' suspension, steering, wheel alignment and safety features (headlights, taillights, tires, horn, windshield wipers and turn signals) will be checked.
• The inspector will perform the appropriate emissions test based on the year, make and model of the vehicle.
• The final stage of the test will assure that your gas cap is stable and limits the escape of fumes into the environment.
• Upon completion, the inspector will place a new two-year sticker in your windshield

That sounds fairly straight forward and simple, doesn't it. But no, nothing is simple or straight forward in life. If you don't know this then you are living in a vacuum and please may I join you there. So on friday evening, I take my car to the inspection facility hoping that all is well and that I will pass the test with flying colors. I have terrible test taking skills so I am always nervous. This friday however I was cheerful and life could not have been better. I pulled in the facility in Mercer County. There weren't that many cars so I was pleased as a punch. In fact they called me and few others into the reinspection line, which is a seperate one than the one for cars being inspected for the first time in two years.

I pulled in, the guy checked my registration, license and insurance policy and asked me to step out in the waiting area, which is air conditioned. The temperature was in the lower 80s but the waiting area was freezing cold. After a 15 minute wait I am informed that my car failed the test for safety reasons because apparently the rear braking was uneven. I look at my car like a parent would look at their errant kid when he/she screws up in the school exam. The inspector informed me that some minor work was required and that I had 45 days to get it done. I really didn't have the patience to wait for 45 days so instead called my mechanic right then. I had got some brake work done a month ago to the rear brakes and informed him so. Of course he didn't remember me or my name despite being from India (Gee I wonder why!) and asked me to come in first thing in the morning. So last morning, when it was nice and sunny, I took my car to his facility at around 8:00 AM. He fixed the problem within 45 minutes and assured me that I should pass the test.

Anyway I reached the Inspection facility about 9:30 AM and drove through the seperate reinspection lane. I was very confident and knew that my car will pass with flying colors. Well, it didn't and failed the inspection because the rear brake light was not working. I asked the insepctor that I had come to the same facility less than 24 hours ago and why they hadn't noticed it at all then? He told me, "My bad....they probably missed it. You know that you have 45 days to rectify this." I am seething but keeping my calm tell the guy to please check if anything else is missing because I didn't intend to make it a habit to spend all my time in this facility over and over again! The guy was embarassed and told me to run to Sears, which is located literally next door to get the bulb.

I went to the Sears Auto Center and found that there was a long line with probably just one person in attendance. All I needed was one small bulb, which I was going to replace myself. I went to the aisle and noticed a small booklet explaining what type of bulb would work depending on the make and year. I did not find anything for my car. I saw an employee walk by and requested him to guide me. He said that I should wait in line, which incidentally had six people waiting ahead of me, and someone would then tell me what bulb I would need! Of course I walked out of the store sans the bulb and decided to go Autozone, which is located a couple of miles away. I walked in the store and noticed that were a few people waiting but there were quite a few very helpful attendants as well. I was not sure which bulb would be the correct one so took whatever I thought might work to the checkout lane. The cashier very efficiently pointed out the correct one for my car. I replaced the bulb rather quickly, as thanks to K, I had a swiss army knife in my glove compartment, which incidentally has a screw driver as well. K had kept this in the glove compartment in case I ever needed it. I never required to use it until last morning so I made a mental note to thank K for his thoughtfullness.

So I returned to the facility at around 11AM and found that there was a rather long line of cars waiting for inspection. All of them were first timers! I wanted to get on to the seperate lane but found that the idiot waiting before me, was plonked right in the middle of a two-lane driveway! I was in no mood to sound the horn and ask him to move because that doesn't work with Jersey drivers. So I negotiate gingerly next to this moron, who is playing music rather loud on his system, partly into the grass and dirt hoping that my wheels don't get stuck! Luckily the other drivers are better and have parked in the their lanes, so I finally got to the reinspection lane. The inspector recognized me because as soon as I pulled in, he said "Hey I noticed that your brake lights are working just fine now so don't worry I shall replace your sticker right away. You might have to wait though because there are two cars ahead of you." I gave him the most beatific smile I could manage and thanked him. He promplty replaced the sticker and apologised for the trouble. I smiled and thanked my stars that I have to inspect my car every two years. Therefore I should be fine until July 2009 and not have to deal with the DMV, of course unless my license expires prior to that.